tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89386622313672117522024-03-13T08:08:32.695-07:00HOPE - Helping Other Patients EverywhereOffering hope and encouragement to people and their loved ones living with a life-changing illness, and inspiring others to find beauty in each day. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-35446142165676585452013-08-06T12:31:00.002-07:002013-08-06T12:31:35.841-07:00Confessions of a Type A Personality<ul style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .0208in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;">
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Hello. My name is
Chelsey. And I am a Type A Personality. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I am not going to go
into the "nature vs. nurture" debate here to discuss how I came to
be the way I am…although I do believe the "nurture" part definitely
played a large part in molding my approach to life. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Being the top student
in my class was not really that important to me until junior high, when I
realized that I kept receiving high grades without much effort. Soon, my
competitive streak kicked in and I thought, "Hmmm…imagine my potential if
I actually applied myself and put more effort." Efforts turned into
goals, goals turned into ambition, and ambition turned into competition. If I
wasn't competing against someone else, I was competing against myself. If you
are a FRIENDS fan like me, that may remind you of Monica Gellar when she said,
"I am in a competition with ME - the best kind of competition!"</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My family raised me
to always do my best. And after that, to be better than my best. "You're
so smart. You have so much potential. You can do so many things."</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And yes - with
smarts, ambition, and the drive - I was ready to conquer the world. I had my
whole life planned at the age of 17. I was going to graduate at the top of my
class, receive a scholarship at a prestigious school where I would do a double
major in modern languages and politics, and then move on to law school. My
linear plan was set - bam, bam, bam - all I needed to do was to make the most
of my time. There was no time to waste, only deadlines and overtime. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But then at the age
of 17, life took a drastic turn that forever changed my perspective on time. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I became diagnosed
with an incurable life-long illness called central nervous system vasculitis,
a neurological illness where my immune system becomes overactive and attacks
the blood cells in my brain. As a result, I could suffer from multiple
neurological symptoms such as coma, seizures, and strokes. (For a full story
on my illness, please click <a href="http://helpingotherpatientseverywhere.blogspot.com/2011/12/when-i-was-17-my-llife-changed-for.html" target="_blank">here</a>). Without a cure, I know not when my illness
may attack again. God has blessed me three times so far with full recovery
after each flare-up. I do not live with the disabilities that many people who
live with this diagnosis must endure. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>During my first flare
up in 2005, I was hospitalized for three months. I woke up from my coma near
the end of August, and one of my first questions was, "Has school
started?"</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>You would probably
think that I would have milked this opportunity to lay around in bed,
indulging in leisure, and using my illness to push off finishing my senior
year. But not me…with a central line in my heart and an IV hooked to my arm, I
was still writing letters to my teachers requesting for homework so that I can
keep up with my class. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Determination isn't
always such a detriment. It was determination that propelled me to defy
doctors' prognoses and prove that I CAN still succeed, even with this disease
in my brain. They were convinced that I would live with cognitive disabilities
for the rest of my life, but with hard work, I recovered fully, graduating on
time with my senior class with the top of my class. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But CNS vasculitis
had interrupted my plans. Since I had a late start to my senior year, I was
not able to meet the deadline for university applications. I took a six month
hiatus and reevaluated. I decided to move to the west coast and start my
university career in January. This move turned into one of my biggest
blessings in life as I came to find my passion in social sciences, encountered
wonderful friends, and eventually met and married my husband. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Five years had passed
by without my diagnosis disabling me in any way. In 2011, I had applied to the
social work graduate program in Toronto, and was eager to begin my graduate. I
had my two year outlook: get married, move to Toronto, go to grad school, graduate
with an MSW and start my planned career. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But even the
best-laid plans can be interrupted unexpectedly, and once again my illness
resurfaced and forced me to reevaluate my priorities. My husband and I decided
not to move, and that I would postpone graduate school. Graduate school is -
of course- very stressful, and stress would only exacerbate my illness and
impede recovery. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My bachelor's degree
is only in social sciences, with a certificate in human services, a
concentration in sociology, and a minor in political studies and psychology.
It may all sound great on my resume but it is still not enough to start a
social worker's career without an MSW. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I did recover from my
flare up in 2011, but once again, priorities
shifted and my goals became muddled. What can I do with my life now? Although
I still desired to get my masters degree, I was not sure if it was worth
investing the hundred thousand dollars in tuition at an American university
(as opposed to investing ten thousand dollars in a Canadian university as
originally planned). </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My husband started a
new career path in IT that he enjoys. I started a new job as a behavior
technician working with teenagers and children who have special needs, but
even at that job, I hear the voices of my past whispering, "You're so
smart. You can do so much more. You have so much potential. This is not
enough. You are wasting your talent, wasting your time…you are wasting your
life." </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The dangers of having
a driven personality is that sometimes you don't know exactly where you are
driving, you just have this sense of urgency that there is always something
better you can do, there is always that next goal to strive for, there is no
peace in your current circumstance. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I think it takes
great strength to be able to reevaluate priorities in life, and accept that
there are some things we cannot change, but we can always change our
perspective. Type A personalities are all about control and are often void of
spontaneity. But as I have learned, a driven personality doesn't always drive
you to where you need to be. Sometimes it takes greater strength to just pause
in life, appreciate the present, and reflect on our current blessings rather
than always focusing our mind on what is next on the list. </b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I went to church last
weekend and the speaker (Adam Carpenter) said something that really resonated
with me. He referred to the allegory often mentioned in the Bible of people as
sheep and God as our Shepherd. He says that in Biblical times, the shepherds
were the ones who guided their sheep through the pastures. They named them.
They cared for them. Sometimes they were willing to risk their life to protect
them from wolves and other predators. Nowadays, sheep no longer need much of a
shepherd. There are shepherding dogs trained to drive them around in packs.
Farmers can drive vehicles to urge the sheep in the direction that they want.
But the speaker mentioned that we were not meant to be driven, we were meant
to be led. I need to let God lead me rather than let this world drive me
around crazy making me believe that I am never going to be good enough. I need
to stop putting God in the backseat and let Him be the one who drives me to
what I want to do with life, not personal ambition.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It's difficult living
with a chronic illness and a Type A personality. Voices still pester me and
say, "Why aren't you going to grad school? Didn't you plan a better
career for yourself? Why are you resting? Don't you know there is so much to
do?"</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It's just a matter of
perspective. I need to appreciate the present rather than processing it as how
I think it should be. Retraining my mind has been a difficult process, but I
am getting there. I still bake too much food when people ask me to bring dessert
to a potluck. I still occasionally scan Craigslist to see if there any
advertisements for jobs that can help advance my career. I still have that
competitive streak when playing board games. Meanwhile, I remind myself:</b></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-obBlSUzYVsg/UgFNMiZx2dI/AAAAAAAAAcs/USE-puzo9DQ/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><b><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"></span></b></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But competition,
determination and ambition don't drive my life anymore. I have learned to be a
person who is led, rather than driven. I have learned to befriend time rather
than make it my enemy. I have accepted that there are some days where I may be
too tired to clean the house, and sometimes my brain just needs to shut down
and watch a silly movie. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I need to remember
that WHO I am is more important than what I DO. </b></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-obBlSUzYVsg/UgFNMiZx2dI/AAAAAAAAAcs/USE-puzo9DQ/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-obBlSUzYVsg/UgFNMiZx2dI/AAAAAAAAAcs/USE-puzo9DQ/s400/blog1.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My journey is the
journey that God has given me and I shouldn't compare it with that of other
people. Envy and regret only distort reality and keep me from accepting and
appreciating the positive aspects of my own life. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I need to stop
anticipating "tomorrow" and live in the "right now."</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sometimes I need to
save my energy for a battle worth fighting. Fighting for my health is more
important than fighting for my career. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>1 Peter 4:11 says,
"If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God
supplies." Therefore I am never too weak, too sick, too small, too poor,
or too "anything" to serve God - I just need to have the heart so
God can use me. And being God's instrument in this world is higher than any
type of worldly success I could have envisioned for myself. </b></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CUFEUw0Cpzo/UgFNnbFmwVI/AAAAAAAAAc0/8R1NsbltKBM/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><b><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="187" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CUFEUw0Cpzo/UgFNnbFmwVI/AAAAAAAAAc0/8R1NsbltKBM/s200/12.jpg" width="200" /></span></b></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"When
I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a
single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me."
Erma Bombeck</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My name is Chelsey
and I am a recovering Type A personality.</b></span></div>
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</ul>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-88865322312976477262013-06-25T10:59:00.000-07:002013-06-25T11:09:50.566-07:00Redirection<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am currently working as a behavior technician in a high school with teenagers who have special needs and severe behavior issues. As a "behavior technician," my job is to help adapt their behavior to be more appropriate in its social context. In this job, we use a lot of "redirection." Instead of saying to someone "No don't do that," we tell them to do something else instead, in order to replace the unwanted behavior with a preferred behavior. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For example, maybe my student is throwing a tantrum and pounding on the walls. Instead of saying, "No don't do that!" - I would say, "Come and bounce on your ball."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The special education teacher explained that these kids do not respond well to the concept of "no" or "don't do that," especially when they are lower functioning. Redirecting them to a calming activity or getting them to engage in something else helps them cope and cool off.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not really sure what is going through these kids' heads when we redirect them. Maybe they think we are punishing them, but really - as a behavior technician - I am helping guide their behavior so that they can be safer and happier. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A lot of times in life, we reject redirection. We do not like the idea of abruptly changing our plans due to some interruption. We think that nothing will be as good as the plan we already had in mind. We forget that if our plans must change, it's because God has planned something better for us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did not grow up with the best childhood. I longed for the day when I could escape after high school graduation and live my own life. I planned all my high school classes so that I could get the best grades and the requirements to be accepted into a university with scholarship. I was on my way to what I thought was freedom and happiness, but instead - my life was interrupted by an unexpected diagnosis that altered everything. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The summer before my senior year of high school, I was diagnosed with central nervous system vasculitis - where the immune system attacks the blood vessels in your brain causing severe neurological symptoms such as come, strokes, and seizures. I may have survived a death sentence, but the long recovery process weighed on my heart as I realized that I had lost everything of which I was certain. It was not certain whether or not I would graduate high school on time. It was not certain how much longer I would have to stay on chemo. It was nor certain about whether or not my brain would return with the same intellect I used to have. I lost my sense of independence, my confidence, my direction. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During that time I could not see it, but God's hand was bringing it all together to lead me to something greater. Eventually, I did graduate high school on time. Because I had missed the deadline for university applications, I took several months off to live with my aunt and uncle on the west coast. There, I decided to try out a small Christian university that I would have never considered before. At that school, I found my calling in human services, met my best friends, and through those friends I eventually met the love of my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My husband and I were planning on moving to Toronto where I was recently accepted in grad school for the social work program. However, after six silent years, my childhood illness resurfaced and made us rethink our priorities. We chose to stay in Washington and reluctantly, I accepted the fact that grad school was not a good option for my health at that time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After we made the decision not to move, my husband eventually changed careers and found a job in a company that provides well. Right as we were settling down, my illness flared up again with worse consequences then the last. I was hospitalized for a month due to intractable seizures. Looking back now, it was a good thing this had not happened while I was attending grad school. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God healed me again, but this time - it took a while for me to find the blessing in the storm. It seemed like my illness was bound to keep interrupting life until a cure was found, and who knows when that would happen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3GTigR-hr2c/UcnYTtrmJ8I/AAAAAAAAAcM/jxoWJk69lQY/s1600/1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3GTigR-hr2c/UcnYTtrmJ8I/AAAAAAAAAcM/jxoWJk69lQY/s400/1.png" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For now, I just remember to to place everything in God's hands. He can already make beautiful things out of the dust, and he can make something beautiful out of any situation. It takes a lot of practice to be able to say "yes!" to redirection in life...but I would rather take God's redirection than any direction I had planned for myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="color: blue;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16.000003814697266px;">For I know the plans</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-19647A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16.000003814697266px;"> I have for you,” declares the </span><span class="small-caps" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16.000003814697266px; font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16.000003814697266px;">, “plans to prosper</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-19647B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16.000003814697266px;"> you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)</span></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-74541766714722990952013-04-08T16:21:00.001-07:002013-04-08T16:21:40.010-07:00That Solid Place....Viewing Life's Problems from a Spiritual Perspective<br />
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's been a while
since my last blog post…apologies to my loyal readers! My job has been
stressful and energy-draining at times…it is nice to get in touch with my
writing again and I hope that my words can bring some encouragement to your own
day. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I work as a behavior
technician at a high school. My job involves working with autistic teenagers
and children who have severe behavior problems. At this time, I am not sure how
I feel about pursuing this career track in human services. Several years ago, I
had envisioned myself as a medical social worker - I enjoy reaching out to
others and bringing perspective to their pain so that they can remember that
even the smallest shred of hope can light up the dark. However, my five years
of remission ended and my illness prevented me from going to graduate school to
pursue this career track. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Making plans for
your life is difficult when you live with a chronic illness. After I realized
that I will not be going into medical social work after all, I felt
stuck…motionless…wondering about how would I move forward in life when I can
never be certain about anything. How do I plan a career when I do not know the
next time my illness will flare up? How can I hope to have children someday if
I do not know how much more chemotherapy I might have to endure, which
endangers my fertility? How can I plan anything long-term when I have epileptic
discharge occurring in my brain, setting it up for a seizure at any time? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Recently, I started
reading another book by Henri Nouwen, "The Inner Voice of Love." He
wrote it during an uncertain time in his life when he also wasn't sure about
how he can move forward in life from the depths of his brokenness and despair. He
was going through a different situation but he also felt a similar physical and
emotional kind of pain. This book is basically a published journal of his
musings during this heart wrenching time for him. He wrote a chapter titled,
"Always coming back to the place that is solid." He writes:</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"You have to
trust the place that is solid, the place where you can say yes to God's love
even when you do not feel it. Right now you feel nothing except emptiness and
the lack of strength to choose, But keep saying, 'God loves me, and God's love
is enough.' You have to choose the solid place over and over again and return
to it after every failure."</b></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ks0jXcYasqw/UWNQllfsvkI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/9_VcgRUMIw8/s1600/1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="197" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ks0jXcYasqw/UWNQllfsvkI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/9_VcgRUMIw8/s200/1.png" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What is solid in
your life? Careers start and stop. Friends come and go. Marriage has its ups
and downs. Kids grow up and move out. Health symptoms can vary on a wide
spectrum of pain. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The dictionary
defines solidness as a "state in which a substance has no tendency to flow
under moderate stress, resists forces that tend to deform it, and retains a
definite size and shape." Looking back on my past experiences, I cannot
tell you that I was the definition of solidness. I did not retain my faith the
way I should have when dealing with my anger in my home situation during my
childhood. When I was diagnosed with a devastating illness, my resilience was
at zero capacity. My faith was shaken. I could be here and gone tomorrow…what
is there in life that I can depend on?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It took some time
and learning that helped me find my "place that is solid."
Remembering that God's love will never fail me helped me to move forward.
Corrie ten Boom said, "If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided
strong shoes." </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3-z2iSR0HYo/UWNQqu6XBXI/AAAAAAAAAaY/ubbO2oTHMVc/s1600/2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3-z2iSR0HYo/UWNQqu6XBXI/AAAAAAAAAaY/ubbO2oTHMVc/s320/2.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After facing trials,
often we pray to God and say, "Thank you for lifting me out of this
trial…thank you for helping me overcome this with your help. Thank you that
it's over." But rarely do we thank God for letting us endure that trial.
When we find that we have nothing left in us that can help us overcome what we
are facing, that is when we turn the focus of our faith toward Him. We look
beyond our weaknesses to His strength, and instead of relying on our own wisdom
to solve our problems…we give Him full control. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When I was 17 years
old, I thanked God for healing me from a lamentable illness that almost took my
life. However, it took me several years later to finally thank Him and say,
"Thank you God for letting me walk through the trial of living this illness
with you…thank you for using this illness to let me grow deeper in my faith and
letting me live in a way where I put important things first, and learning to
trust in your love even when I don't feel it."</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sometimes the things
we can't change end up changing us…and when God is at the center of that
change, you can be certain that the change is for His greater good. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don't know what is
going on in your life right now. If you would like to drop me a message, I
would love to send a reply to you. Maybe you are having trouble with stress at
work like I am. Maybe you are experiencing trouble in your marriage. Maybe your
pain symptoms have been too unbearable to let you fall asleep peacefully.
Whatever you are going through, remember that you can always return to that
solid place…where - as a popular worship song says - God's love never fails,
never gives up, never runs out on you. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-81719933927813603582013-02-07T20:39:00.006-08:002013-02-07T20:46:25.057-08:00Please help me spread hope and raise awareness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/5Rj2CjrVZnE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">This is very near and dear to my heart - please please - vote for my video for the Neuro Film Festival. I hope for my video "Living with Hope and CNS vasculitis" to win the "fanvote" so that it can be featured at the convention for the American Academy of Neurology. This would be a major step in raising awareness for my rare and incurable brain illness that causes my neurological symptoms such as coma, hallucinations, strokes and seizures. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">Together we are</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"> stronger. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br />Much thanks to my friend Kai Chinn for producing the video.<br /><br /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Please click <a href="http://patients.aan.com/go/about/neurofilmfestival" target="_blank">HERE</a> to go to the website and vote. Y</span>ou will need to have an account with the American Academy of Neurology to vote - they just want your contact info but you don't have to subscribe for anything. It's so that voters can only vote once per account.</span><br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-opak8_X_bhs/Tuj1FRBlPkI/AAAAAAAAAEM/TnttgdW0UGA/s1600/BLOG+006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-opak8_X_bhs/Tuj1FRBlPkI/AAAAAAAAAEM/TnttgdW0UGA/s200/BLOG+006.JPG" width="200" /></a><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">My video title is : Living with Hope and CNS vasculitis<br /><br />If you want to know more of my full story on my illness and living with hope, please click <a href="http://helpingotherpatientseverywhere.blogspot.com/2011/12/when-i-was-17-my-llife-changed-for.html" target="_blank">here</a> to a previous blog post. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">Please share this with your friends and family and encourage them to vote as well. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-7337599304321094372012-10-15T14:57:00.001-07:002012-10-15T14:57:54.954-07:00"Wondering When"
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Have any of you ever
seen the movie "Tangled" by Disney, based on the story of Rapunzel?
This movie was playing while I was at work this week, and inspired me to write
this post. </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The basic story of
Tangled (spoiler alert!) is that a witch has kidnapped Rapunzel from her
parents and has locked her up in a tall tower to raise as her own child. The witch's motive is
not one of love but of selfishly hoarding Rapunzel's magical hair . For 18
years, Rapunzel is trapped in a tower . She spends her free time in a myriad of
activities, all the while "wondering<span>
</span>and wondering and wondering and wondering: when will my life
begin?"</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">And I'll reread the
books</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If I have time to
spare</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I'll paint the walls
some more,</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I'm sure there's
room somewhere.</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">And then I'll brush
and brush,</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">and brush and brush
my hair</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Stuck in the same
place I've always been.</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">And I'll keep
wonderin' and wonderin'</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">And wonderin' and
wonderin'</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">When will my life
begin?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/Loo41xVIb_I/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Loo41xVIb_I&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Loo41xVIb_I&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: small;">When will my life
begin?</span></b></i></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I know I have asked
myself that question plenty of times! I've asked myself "when will my life
begin" during the troubled years of my childhood when I thought I would be
forever stuck in a stressful home life. I asked myself this same question through
the uncertain years of high school. And of course - I have asked myself this
question daily through the chemo injections, the many medical visits, and the
numerous days spent overnight in the hospital.</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Rapunzel felt that
the woman she thought was her "mother" was keeping her from starting
to really live life. Have you ever felt something holding you back from truly
living? Did financial circumstances prevent you from attempting to achieve a dream
? Did a person's words and possessive character prevent you from truly
embracing life experiences? Has an illness taken hold of your body and
prevented you from living the way you would like?</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">My answer is yes to
all the above questions. I thought: </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"If I had
enough money, life would be easier and life can truly begin." </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"If that family
member was less harsh to me, I can actually enjoy life and let it truly
begin." </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"If I was cured
from central nervous system vasculitis, then life can truly begin."</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Like Rapunzel, I
have felt "stuck in the same place I've always been." When I got
drastically sick again last September, it seemed like my life would forever be
in a cycle of "remission, flare up, getting back up again." Right now
- as I have just returned to the work field full time, I feel that I am in the
stage of "remission." But somewhere in the back of my mind, a little
voice taunts me, "How long is this<span>
</span>going to last? How long will your medication help you before your
illness flares up again?"</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">How do you know when
your "life" has truly started? Is living life only when your heart
is happy and your spirit is light?</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">A very wise friend said, "Don't wait for life to start...just start living." </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Whether it's raining
or sunny, you can choose to start living life already - without having to wait
for the "next stage."<span> </span>When you
are in a difficult circumstance - an illness, financial hardship, negative
relationships - your experiences are building you up for future moments in
life. You are still living even when you "feel stuck." Life still
goes on even when you feel like you are not moving forward at all. </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"Every event in
life can be causing only one of two things. Either it is good for you, or it is
bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you." -
Deepak Chopra. </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-51DdcvMtMbs/UHyGpyAjQtI/AAAAAAAAAY4/nbQyBWUFFDQ/s1600/rare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-51DdcvMtMbs/UHyGpyAjQtI/AAAAAAAAAY4/nbQyBWUFFDQ/s320/rare.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Instead of
wondering, "When will my life begin?" - Think instead, "I wonder
how this waiting period in my life is preparing me and strengthening me for the
future?"</span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Remember the caterpillar...when it thought it couldn't wait anymore for life to get better, it became a butterfly. </span></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: purple; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-22018748581241974802012-09-19T13:27:00.003-07:002012-09-19T13:27:42.646-07:00"Every New Beginning is Some Beginning's End"<br />
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Summer is soon coming
to a close and the autumn season will begin. While the official commencement of
autumn is in the third week of September, people usually get into their
"autumn" routine earlier on. Autumn signifies the beginning of school
and regular classes. Children may initially resent the month of September
because it is the end of the lazy hazy days of summer, while parents are happy
to get back a regular routine. Families are enjoying being at home after a
summer filled with road trips, weddings, family reunions, and other busy
gatherings. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was younger, I
was not a big fan of autumn. I thought it was the boring "in-between"
season that signaled the end of summer vacation and the waiting period for
winter and holiday festivities. I am one of those annoying people that loves the
holidays…the Christmas decoration, the carols, the surprise presents, and snow.
Maybe I loved Christmas so much because when I was growing up - no matter how
much my parents were fighting - I can count on them to try and make Christmas
Day worth the other 364 days of their arguments. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Autumn also symbolizes
a season of change...the shades of sunset on the crunchy leaves, the air
crispens, and the moon wakes up earlier than usual.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vX61UDNh2jU/UFoqjpvYF0I/AAAAAAAAAYg/iDVTCIL0yzs/s1600/Swedish+Cherry+Hill+2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vX61UDNh2jU/UFoqjpvYF0I/AAAAAAAAAYg/iDVTCIL0yzs/s200/Swedish+Cherry+Hill+2011.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last autumn - in 2011
- was a big season of change for me. While I was looking forward to starting my
career in the United States after applying for my green card and getting my
work permit, my health took an unexpected turn and I found myself hospitalized
for a month. My brain was in status epilepticus - a state of non-stop
subclinical seizures - for a whole week. Seizure medications would not work on
me. The doctors couldn't find out what was causing my seizures until they found
that my rare neurological illness had resurfaced again. My childhood illness
found me in my adulthood and was threatening to take my life again. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last September, I was
laying in the hospital bed, contemplating this new abrupt twist in my life. I
don't know when my illness will decide to flare up - I only hope to stay in
remission for as long as I can. Last autumn, I was facing a familiar "beginning"
- facing chemotherapy again, dealing with fatigue and other side effects, and
once more - wondering where my life will go from here. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iMmiw4O8PjM/UFop0Z_HAzI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/D9gDXAJOcPQ/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iMmiw4O8PjM/UFop0Z_HAzI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/D9gDXAJOcPQ/s320/10.jpg" width="219" /></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the movie Hope
Floats, Sandra Bullock says, "Beginnings are scary, endings are usually
sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you
find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up and it
will…" During the many scary beginnings in life, we get so caught up with
the initial fear and anxiety that we forget that life is full of seasons of
change. How you feel right now will not always be the case. I will not always
be in chemotherapy. One day my fatigue will go away. Sadness is a temporary
state of feeling, not a permanent way of being…I wish I had told myself all
these things last autumn, but instead - I had to learn it the hard way. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sandra Bullock was
right though - when I gave hope a chance, it did float up. I was able to find
hope even in the uncertainty of my incurable diagnosis. I learned that when I
can trust God fully and place my hope in Him, there is no more room for fear - because
He has everything under control. Whatever happens to me, He has a purpose for
it.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whenever I tell other
people about the story of how I first got sick when I was 17 years old, I
always end my story by saying how grateful I am that it happened to me. Without
my illness, I would not have moved to the west coast, and chosen a university where
I found a passion for my career in human services and met some best friends,
and eventually - through those friends - I found and married the love of my
life. Looking back on all the rewards and blessings that happened in my life, I
would be face it all again. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This autumn, I have
been blessed with a full recovery and good health even though I am still on a
chemotherapy treatment plan. I am blessed that I am healthy enough to start
working full-time again. I have been offered a job as a behaviour technician -
working with kids who have special needs. It's wonderful to find a job that
provides security and also has meaning. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It will be my first
post-graduate job, and also the first job I will have since my last flare-up
with CNS vasculitis. I am a little bit anxious about it. Will I be physically
capable for this job? Will I be too tired at the end of the day? Will I have to
take off too many days for medical appointments?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Beginnings can be
distressing, but there is a seed of hope in every beginning - and when you give
it a chance, it floats up.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sandra Bullock said
that "it's the middle that counts the most" - I guess that is another
way of saying that the journey matters more than the destination. In this
particular case, I guess I would agree. During my journey to remission, I have
done my best to provide hope for others who struggle through this blog, online
support groups, and even in personal messages. I have learned lessons about
trusting God and finding purpose in the healing journey that many people do not
get a chance to learn until their old age. I learned that tears can be symbols
of strength - not weakness - because they show that you choose to still fight
despite everything you are going through. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now that I can say I
am officially in "remission" - I have a new beginning. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lPswuoe-1mw/UFoqObQRERI/AAAAAAAAAYY/563jj5xLWi8/s1600/b1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lPswuoe-1mw/UFoqObQRERI/AAAAAAAAAYY/563jj5xLWi8/s1600/b1.jpg" /></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bon Jovi sings,
"Every new beginning is some beginning's end." How true this
statement is. Life is full of seasons of change and cycles of new beginnings.
Through each season of change and new beginning, let hope float and guide you
through.<br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The road that is
built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair,
even though they both lead to the same destination." ~Marian Zimmer
Bradley </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-76534863932742340652012-09-14T09:11:00.001-07:002012-09-14T09:11:11.033-07:00"Firsts"<br />
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People don't really
remember the first time they took their first step - because they were probably
around 1 year old and that time is a blank space in their childhood. But I
remember the first time I took my first step after my body had forgotten how to
walk. When i was 17, I was diagnosed with a rare neurological disease that put
me in a coma for a month. When I woke up, I was relearning to communicate and
my body had to recall how to move physically. From learning to sit up on my
own, and then being able to stand up - nothing was as memorable and wonderful
as the first step I took all by myself during my physical therapy sessions.
That first step gave me hope that everything will be okay, that there is hope
for me to move forward. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n3FF7qc5JtM/UFNWv7kRxvI/AAAAAAAAAXw/NTu_qq8ye5Y/s1600/beginning+of+recovery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n3FF7qc5JtM/UFNWv7kRxvI/AAAAAAAAAXw/NTu_qq8ye5Y/s200/beginning+of+recovery.jpg" width="149" /></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember the first
time I tasted food after spending a month tied up to a feeding tube. The
doctors placed the feeding tube in me after I had fallen into a coma, and then
they had kept it for a while because they weren't sure if my illness was also
attacking my digestive system. I remember only being allowed to have ice chips
for a while - and while ice chips may seem like the most boring item to a food
connoisseur, at that time - I looked forward to having my daily portion of ice
chips. Finally, when the feeding tube was removed - I had my first "real
food" : green Jello. I actually hate Jello. I was never as drawn to it as
other kids were. But I relished my first spoonful of green squiggly stuff. I
had to be on a "soft food" diet at first - but at the time, it didn't
matter because I knew my doctors were feeling more confident about my health
and soon, I can eat what I was really craving. Shawarmas. Pork chops. My mom's
cooking. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TFg01N2mUlY/UFNW880kikI/AAAAAAAAAX4/mX6iiI7d_u4/s1600/signs+of+hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TFg01N2mUlY/UFNW880kikI/AAAAAAAAAX4/mX6iiI7d_u4/s320/signs+of+hope.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are a lot of
firsts in life. Sometimes we dwell so much on the negative side of
"firsts" that we forget that there are also positive
"firsts" as well. I could have spent years mourning my first
hospitalization, my first time in the ICU, my first serious surgery, my first
seizure. Instead, I want to remember the positive "firsts" in my life
- the signs of hope in my life that were telling me that everything will
eventually be okay.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe you have
forgotten all the positive "firsts" in your life. The first time you
went on a date after a broken heart. The first time you applied for another job
after being rejected in a previous interview. The first time you drove a car
after having failed the license test. The first time you smiled at the sunshine
after days of darkness. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martin Luther King Jr.
said, "Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole
staircase." Sometimes it is difficult to take that first step when you're
afraid of where it might lead, or wonder if you can accomplish it. Nobody said
first steps have to be done alone. Even toddlers held their parents' hands when
they tried walking. The important thing is to take that first step. Bravely
overcoming your past, your fears, and your anxieties - and trusting that the
first step you take gives you the courage to climb the rest of the staircase. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-47489728304409911662012-09-09T23:34:00.002-07:002012-09-09T23:41:19.061-07:00The Invisible Half of America<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eU8NcySyucY/UE2JoL12UdI/AAAAAAAAAXM/K4W6i_zwGOQ/s1600/07_logo_animated.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eU8NcySyucY/UE2JoL12UdI/AAAAAAAAAXM/K4W6i_zwGOQ/s320/07_logo_animated.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You see us walk by you on the street. We sit in front of you in the city bus. We serve you coffee at Starbucks. We are behind you in line at the grocery store. We are the nearly 1 in 2 Americans who have a chronic condition.</span><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8938662231367211752" name="13998809f2c6253b__ednref1" style="color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;" title=""><span style="color: black;">[i]</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This chronic condition may be due to a diagnosed illness, mental health issues, persistent side effects due to treatment, or constant pain because of a car accident.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; vertical-align: middle;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our chronic conditions are invisible…but we are not. We walk by you on the street and you do not know that we just had blood work done to check inflammatory levels. You see us sitting in front of you in the city bus and you do not realize that we are on our way to another chemotherapy session. We may be behind you in line at the grocery store and you do not know that we regularly purchase take-out because our constant fatigue prevents us from wanting to cook dinner.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We may look perfectly healthy on the outside, but our depression rate is 15-20% higher than the average person because of our chronic illness. <a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8938662231367211752" name="13998809f2c6253b__ednref2" style="color: #1155cc;" title=""><span style="color: black;">[ii]</span></a></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about 157 million Americans will be afflicted by chronic illnesses by 2020. That number is estimated to increase by more than one percent per year by 2030, resulting in an estimated chronically ill population of 171 million.<a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8938662231367211752" name="13998809f2c6253b__ednref3" style="color: #1155cc;" title=""><span style="color: black;">[iii]</span></a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was 17 years old when I was first diagnosed with a rare, invisible and incurable illness called central nervous system vasculitis. This is when my immune system attacks the blood vessels in my brain and can lead to a variety of neurological symptoms. The invisible illness in my brain started with thundering headaches. My family doctor passed them off as normal migraines. Afterward, I started having language difficulties; I picked up a book and I could not read the words. Later that night at the hospital, my brain slowly deteriorated and put me in a coma for a month.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yoH__E4MlS0/UE2Jx25mdeI/AAAAAAAAAXU/-SOXvldIwuI/s1600/Capture.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yoH__E4MlS0/UE2Jx25mdeI/AAAAAAAAAXU/-SOXvldIwuI/s320/Capture.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If my doctors hadn’t been as competent and proficient in my diagnosis and treatment, I would have died.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">However, surviving death was a minor hill compared to the mountains of challenges ahead of me. Trying to find a <span class="il" style="background-color: #ffffcc;">new</span> sense of normal after my body had forgotten to walk and talk was the highest mountain to climb. I was learning baby steps like a toddler walking for the first time. I couldn’t voice my feelings. Instead, nurses came and showed me a “happy face” sign and a “sad face” sign. “How are you feeling Chelsey? Point to which one you are feeling today.” Words were scrambled in my head. It would be a while before these thoughts can express coherent words.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am fortunate to be living in a period of advanced medical research because it wasn’t too long ago when this illness was only diagnosed post-autopsy. I have been privileged to have access to the treatment I need so I can live as normal a life as possible. I have graduated from university. I have volunteered in third-world countries. I have worked at jobs trying to pay off my student loan debt.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My body may go into remission – but as I learned six years after my diagnosis, it can flare up with a fury and overwhelm my life again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Shortly after I got married in 2011, my illness returned with severe non-stop seizures and terrifying hallucinations.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Every time my immune system attacks my brain, I need to be treated immediately – usually with the combination of chemotherapy and steroids. Without such treatment, I would die or become a vegetable.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AnMBeoP3LoE/UE2J59NOSGI/AAAAAAAAAXc/pJ-Dq4MMMeY/s1600/HOPE+ILLNESS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AnMBeoP3LoE/UE2J59NOSGI/AAAAAAAAAXc/pJ-Dq4MMMeY/s320/HOPE+ILLNESS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My invisible illness is caused by my own immune system. It can creep up on the blood vessels in my brain and spread like wildfire in an instant. To the naked eye, I may just seem confused and disconcerted. Take me to the ER for a brain scan and you can find blood vessels ready to burst because of inflammation.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">No one could guess I am sick unless I tell them. People find it hard to believe I am on chemotherapy when I still have enough hair to tie in a ponytail. People cannot recognize that the immune system – the so-called protector against viruses – is also my worst enemy. Until there is a cure, I will always be at risk.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The difference between me and half of the American population is that I live each day with an invisible enemy…an illness that daily taunts me with symptoms and eager to rip apart my future.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">From September 10 – 16, join us in National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. With more people joining our cause, our voice can be stronger. With a louder voice, we can be heard even if our invisible illnesses cannot be seen.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><br />****Are you on Facebook? Join the cause <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/224350751024612/" target="_blank">here </a>for Invisible Illness Week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />To find out more about this week and how you can contribute or what you can learn, find out <a href="http://invisibleillnessweek.com/" target="_blank">here</a><br /></span><br />
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8938662231367211752" name="13998809f2c6253b__edn1" style="color: #1155cc;" title="">[i]</a> <span style="color: black;">Chronic Care in America: A 21st Century Challenge, a study of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation & Partnership for Solutions: Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (September 2004 Update). "Chronic Conditions: Making the Case for Ongoing Care".</span></span></div>
<div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8938662231367211752" name="13998809f2c6253b__edn2" style="color: #1155cc;" title="">[ii]</a> <i><span style="color: black;">Rifkin, A. "Depression in Physically Ill Patients," Postgraduate Medicine (9-92) 147-154.</span></i><span style="color: black;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8938662231367211752" name="13998809f2c6253b__edn3" style="color: #1155cc;" title="">[iii]</a> <i><span style="color: black;">Chronic Care in America: A 21st Century Challenge, a study of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation & Partnership for Solutions: Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (September 2004 Update). "Chronic Conditions: Making the Case for Ongoing Care".</span></i></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-38601189863545679772012-08-31T15:55:00.000-07:002012-08-31T15:55:08.225-07:00"Life is Like Monkey Bars"<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bhZx-fzitc4/UEFAoprXEkI/AAAAAAAAAUw/6D7MJmfkYxU/s1600/blog+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bhZx-fzitc4/UEFAoprXEkI/AAAAAAAAAUw/6D7MJmfkYxU/s1600/blog+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When I was younger, I
hated monkey bars. I just did not have the upper body strength to swing across
the monkey bars with the same ease as my peers at the elementary school play
ground. I tried. Really - I did. I would climb up one end, put my two hands on
the first ring…hang for a couple of seconds, and then try to transfer my hands
to the next ring. It was difficult for me. My furthest success was hanging on
the second ring of the monkey bars before falling off. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"Life is like
monkey bars…you gotta let go to move on" (Matt Case).</i> When I was younger, I would
clutch the ring too tightly and I was so convinced that I wasn't strong enough
to move forward. I couldn't trust myself to let go, and eventually I would let
go - but instead of letting go and moving forward, I would let go of the rings
and just give up. Maybe if I had kept pushing myself - I could have gained the
confidence to do better each time so eventually I can make it all the way to
the other side of the monkey bars. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, there
are too many people in this world in the middle of the monkey bars. They can't
move forward - there's a paralyzing fear that is preventing them from letting
go and climbing to the next ring. They don't have the faith to believe that they
can accomplish this. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But in order to move
forward, you have to be willing to let go - let go of the fears, the worries,
the regrets - so you can continue forward. Sometimes we need help on the monkey
bars. Children who don't have enough upper-body strength need a parent to boost
them up on their shoulders so they can finish climbing the monkey bars and have
a sense of accomplishment. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In life - who gives
you the boost so you can have extra hands guiding you on your journey? Is it an
encouraging friend? A supportive spouse? Loving family members? Maybe you think
you don't have anyone in your life who help you, but remember that when you
feel alone - God is always there. He is the invisible wind underneath your
wings that can help you soar above the monkey bars if you wanted to do so. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wpsFhpJ26z4/UEFAh2_5sGI/AAAAAAAAAUo/D-p0C0rtArY/s1600/blog+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wpsFhpJ26z4/UEFAh2_5sGI/AAAAAAAAAUo/D-p0C0rtArY/s1600/blog+1.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"You can't move
forward to the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last
one."</i></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Re-reading the last
chapter in your life can become an unhealthy addiction without you realizing
it. Some people become obsessive about analysing everything that has ever
happened to them and wondering what went wrong, trying to decipher where the
breaking point was in relationships, or attempting to figure out the moment
where they gave up on their goals. Some people keep dwelling on the mistakes
they made - and they use these memories as a template for what their future
will be. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But mistakes are not a
template for your future - they can be lessons, experiences from which to gain
wisdom, and arrows on the broken road leading you to where you were meant to
be.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Life was not intended
to be spent in the past or afraid of the future - life is a forward-moving
journey. And if you must look back on the footsteps you left behind - look back
with nostalgia and wisdom. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So break out of your
emotional prison. Turn the page to the next chapter in your life. Hold hands
with hope and strength, and move on to the next ring in the monkey bars. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-54670802520901960832012-08-22T10:46:00.004-07:002012-08-22T10:52:14.791-07:00My Hope for You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Do you know someone who could use a fresh cup of hope? Can you think of someone who needs encouragement because they are going through a difficult illness? Please feel free to share this poem with them as a sign of encouragement. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TblmsBHIpd0/UDUcRNdS46I/AAAAAAAAASY/o5wD-BCuvW8/s1600/HOPE+POEM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TblmsBHIpd0/UDUcRNdS46I/AAAAAAAAASY/o5wD-BCuvW8/s640/HOPE+POEM.jpg" width="496" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-31894607339302743272012-07-25T16:25:00.002-07:002012-07-25T16:26:46.278-07:00Counting your Miracles... Seven Years Later of Living with CNS Vasculitis<br />
<ol style="direction: ltr; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .3354in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XrLkrtBbxyQ/UBB_2SeErII/AAAAAAAAARs/33fEpG5dnvM/s1600/coma3.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XrLkrtBbxyQ/UBB_2SeErII/AAAAAAAAARs/33fEpG5dnvM/s400/coma3.PNG" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Seven years ago…on July 25, 2005, I
was admitted to the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario for having stroke
symptoms at the age of seventeen years old. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
I have a rare
neurological illness called primary central nervous system vasculitis. This is
when your immune system attacks the blood vessels in your brain causing
inflammation, and leads to a variety of neurological symptoms such as strokes,
seizures, and coma. In my case, I have had all three and more. If you don't
know my full story yet of how I have battled this illness for the last seven
years, you can find out more in this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T2hqOWgHvI" target="_blank">link</a>. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Seven years later -
after surviving death, permanent brain damage, and cognitive impairment - I
have learned a few lessons along the way that many do not get the benefit of
discovering in their lifetime. This is what I have learned along the way.</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="1"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Living in the
present</span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
People say,
"Today is a gift - that is why they call it the present." I never
truly appreciated this until death came knocking on my door again and reminded
me that every day that my brain is functioning is a gift. Right after my
honeymoon in 2011, my illness resurfaced again after 5 years of no symptoms.
This life interruption caused me to withdraw my acceptance to graduate school
for a masters degree in social work. One year later, I still think of what
life would be like right now if my illness hadn't resurfaced. What would life
be like if it had brought me down a different path? </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
But why bother
wondering about these "what if" questions? Dwelling on the past will
not change it - it just makes you less appreciative of what you have now. You
may not be able to change your past but you can change your attitude towards
it. Eventually - I came to be thankful that my illness interrupted my life
when it did because it led my husband to the best job that has provided well
for us, it urged me to rethink my priorities in life, and it confirmed my
heart for helping those in need - especially those living with a chronic
illness. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="2"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Leave the
worries to God</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
God feeds the birds
of the air and provides for them - and of course He would do so much for us.
"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
(Matthew 6:26-27)</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Worrying is
stressful…stress takes away from your life, so really where is the benefit?
This was a very hard lesson for me to learn as I am a Type A personality who
needs to know everything that is going on, and that everything should have
it's own time and place. When uncertainty hits…panic starts building and I
need to come up with many back-up plans to fall on. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
The most worrying
thing that ever happened for me was when my illness hit me last September in
2011 - I had just moved to the United States and was not yet eligible for
health insurance. My illness hit me with non stop seizures that lasted for a
week, and then followed by a period of non-stop nightmarish hallucinations.
Miraculously my brain survived unscathed and I was back on chemotherapy and
prednisone for my treatment plan. But this month-long stay in the hospital
cost us more than over a quarter of a million dollars…money that we did not
have and probably will never have to spare. My husband kept saying to have
faith, God will take care of us - but of course, I had trouble with believing
something that could happen when I cannot see it. But as Christians, we live
by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). My husband and I were very
blessed when the letter arrived in the mail from the hospital…stating that we
had been granted 100% charity care - we were debt free. The enormous medical
bill had been forgiven. God definitely came through for us…and what was all my
worries for? For nothing. I have learned that it is better to spend less time
stressing and worrying about the worst possible outcome, and instead - spend
this time leaning on God as your rock. Let Him carry you through the difficult
times - exchange your worries for a lighter heart. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Rain waters
the garden, just like tears water the soul </span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
I used to think that
crying was the symbol for weakness. I thought that if I cried - it meant that
I was losing…losing an argument, losing a battle, losing at life…I thought
crying meant that I was giving in.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YOdH8y9cA4M/UBB_iQzZt5I/AAAAAAAAARk/ph3HmxOXflg/s1600/tears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YOdH8y9cA4M/UBB_iQzZt5I/AAAAAAAAARk/ph3HmxOXflg/s1600/tears.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
From the last seven
years of living with this neurological illness, there have been many moments
where tears took center stage. And I know there are still many people today -
who often cry themselves to sleep because of pain, regret, or worries. Tears
can carry with them a healing power…it may not solve a problem, but it offers
relief and often the resolve to continue fighting. Suppression of emotions can
lead to depression…if you didn't have tears to express your anger, pain and
sorrow - there would be a major physiological and psychological imbalance in
your body that would lead to more distressing problems. Tears can purify
stress and negativity. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
So when the tears
come - don't fight it. The clouds cry to water the garden, and we cry so we
can water our soul. You don't need to schedule a time in the day for your
"cry time" - but when the tears do come, let them spill - and then
give yourself a gentle hug afterwards to remember that there is still fight in
you, and it is only making you stronger. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Charles Dickens said,
"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain
upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="4"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Releasing pain
</span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
When you live with a
chronic illness, that does not mean all your problems are health-related. It
means that you have to live life like everyone else…with your health in mind.
I may have almost died at the age of 17 years old, but that was not as difficult
as the time when I left my parents' home a year later because of my step-dad's
anger. And living with the side effects of chemotherapy was probably just as
painful as family heartaches, broken hearts, and anger about the childhood
that was robbed from me. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
If you are already
living with physical pain, why hold on to emotional pain? When you are at a
tug of war with anger and blame, you are only wasting your time and strength
at a battle with yourself. Release the rope and let it go. Give the pain and
hurt to God. Join a support group or talk to a friend and vent your feelings
for a good cathartic purge. Don't stack up boxes of pain in your heart - it
only weighs you down. And a healthy life starts with a healthy spirit…so
release the pain, hold on to hope instead. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="5"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Find your
place of healing</span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
I have started
reading a book by Joni Eareckson Tada called "My Place of Healing."
Joni is a wonderful engaging author who writes about the difficulties of
living as a paraplegic in a wheelchair, experiencing severe pain, and also
dealing with cancer. While life has given her many reasons to be bitter, she
has used her experience and her faith in God to write a book about remission
doesn't always necessarily mean the abatement of symptoms, but it can mean a
new attitude to living with the chronic symptoms that you have, and choosing
to touch the lives of others through how you live your own life. She says that
she has found her place of healing in her wheelchair, because that is where
she has brought God the most glory. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
I had thought I would
bring God glory the most by working as a medical social worker. I thought I
could bring joy and comfort to those who needed it most within that career.
But when illness interrupted life - I settled on being a stay-at-home wife
until I felt that I was fully recovered. Looking back now, I see now that
maybe that was where my place of healing was supposed to be. Maybe I was meant
to start writing this blog to encourage others around the world who live with
a chronic illness or have suffered from life's thorns. And when the time comes
for me to move forward to a different place of healing - I trust that God will
guide me to where He wants me to be, not where I think I should be. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="6"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Live - don't
just stay alive</span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Some people with a
chronic illness become afraid to live life…and it is sad to see people base
their every decision and emotion on their illness. Yes it is true that
sometimes people have to be more careful of what they do because of their
health - but you shouldn't have an attitude that is ready for your funeral.
Laugh harder, smile bigger, love deeper. Live life as beautifully as you can -
your life is a testimony to others and an example of faith and strength
overcoming obstacles. As Tim McGraw sings, "Someday I hope you get the
chance to live like you were dying." </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="7"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold;">Count your
miracles. </span></li>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Some people with my
illness unfortunately live with permanent cognitive disabilities or paralysis.
I have been blessed to have survived the possible permanent damages of this
disease. There is no cure for CNS vasculitis – not right now. I live each day
with the possibility that my immune system might attack my brain again. But as
I have learned on the way, miracles are not out of reach. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EmA6Clo0IxA/UBB_fX7h3pI/AAAAAAAAARc/dvCyWAONZAE/s1600/miracles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EmA6Clo0IxA/UBB_fX7h3pI/AAAAAAAAARc/dvCyWAONZAE/s320/miracles.jpg" width="232" /></a>My little sister
wrote an essay about my medical journey. She quoted Albert Einstein when she
began her essay with, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing
is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Despite everything
I’ve gone through, I am happy that I now can see everything as a miracle.
Every step I take reminds me that I can walk. Every vibrant color I see
reminds me I’m not blind. The fact that I was able to write this story means
that I still can read and write. If my illness has taught me anything, it has
taught me how to count miracles. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Sometimes your story
brings you through trials where you learn how to walk through fire. Sometimes
perhaps you are meant to learn from other people's stories. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
So count your own
miracles. If you have also learned these seven lessons in your life, you too
have many miracles to count. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
If you value your
present time more than you regret the past or worry about the future… that is
a miracle.</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
Every time you leave
a worry to God and decide to fully trust Him about it…that is a miracle.</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
After you cry and
resolve to keep fighting because you are stronger than you think you are…that
is a miracle.</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
If you have released
anger and pain and have given forgiveness to people who haven't even asked for
it…that is a miracle.</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
If you have found
your place of healing where you can touch the lives of others most through
your personal story…that is a miracle. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
If you are living
each day vivaciously rather than just waiting for your last day on Earth to
come..that is a miracle. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
If you are able to
count all these miracles in your life and be thankful for them - even the
smallest one - that is also a miracle in itself.</div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
So count your
miracles…and don't wait seven years to be thankful for them. </div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</ol>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-71196996613617546872012-06-18T13:13:00.000-07:002012-08-31T11:26:32.674-07:00"Nowhere" vs. "Now Here"<br />
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JqysZect6iU/T9-Lk4zgymI/AAAAAAAAAQw/5UBfGwaRzYo/s1600/nowhere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JqysZect6iU/T9-Lk4zgymI/AAAAAAAAAQw/5UBfGwaRzYo/s320/nowhere.jpg" width="320" /></a>How do you know when
you are "nowhere" or "now here"? Is there more than just a
little space of difference between the two words?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
In the last couple
months since I have finally stopped my chemotherapy pills and moved on to a
different drug for my maintenance medication, I have been waiting for the
moment when I can finally say, "Today I am in remission!" </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The medical dictionary
defines "remission" as "abatement or subsiding of the symptoms
of a disease." I know some people who are doing well with their illness,
but refuse to call themselves "in remission" until they are off all
medications completely. As for me, I call it "remission" when I can
live my life freely uninhibited by symptoms or traces of my illness. For
central nervous system vasculitis, there are many people who are unfortunate to
be living with traces of its neurological symptoms, such as memory loss,
trouble with word finding, and other cognitive abilities. I have been blessed
to not have any permanent side effects of my illness since my diagnosis,
despite all the close calls in the ICU. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I have started looking
up jobs online recently, preparing for the day when I feel like I am fully
prepared to return to "where I am supposed to be" at this point in my
life. When I was seventeen years old - newly diagnosed and just recovering from
a coma - I did a month of occupational therapy. Some people think occupational
therapy is only for people with severe physical disabilities..for example
teaching someone without any hands how to put on their shoes. But people who
have just had a major illness flare up can need occupational therapy too…they
need to know how to live within their "occupation" with this new
illness, or new onset of symptoms. Occupational therapy helps people try to
return to a new "normal" with their illness. At 17 years old, my
"occupation" was simple - I was an adolescent, a student. But at 24
years old, asking myself what my "occupation" is becomes a more
difficult question. I am a young adult, a wife, a university graduate. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The last month has
been very busy for me. My husband and I just moved to a new home and I spent a
lot of time packing and unpacking. During this busy month, I have had two
weddings where I had been the coordinator…and if you've never been a wedding
coordinator before, take my advice and always wear comfy shoes even if it
doesn't really match your pretty dress…you do a lot of running around!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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After each wedding, I
have awoken the next day exhausted…dedicating myself to a day of rest. It makes
me wonder, "Am I really ready to pursue a full time job in human services?
Am I ready to be on my feet forty hours a week? Am I ready to take on the
emotions and pleas of the people I will serve?" </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
In the book "When
the heart waits" by Sue Monk Kidd, Kidd mentions that we all need an
adjustment time…a time for wobbly wings. Butterflies don't just burst out of
their cocoon, soaring to the sun…they need time to integrate to the changers
around them. We just need to be patient with ourselves and with our wobbly
wings. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
During the last couple
of months, I kept thinking that I was "nowhere" - that I was stuck in
a limbo between being sick and being in remission. The word "almost"
popped up a lot…I am almost healthy, almost energetic, almost ready. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
While I was
"nowhere," I spent so much time reliving history or devising the
future - that I forgot to simply enjoy where my life is at that moment…even if
my wings were wobbly. A popular song by Bon Jovi once said, "Right here
right now, is exactly where you're supposed to be." I realized I needed to
stop thinking that my life was going "nowhere" and that my life is
"now here." I need to take advantage of this time in my life…and so
during this time I refined my homemaking skills, started this blog, started an
online support group, baked cupcakes and wrote encouragement cards for people
in the hospital, and decided to get back in full touch with God. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I can't pinpoint the
exact day I went into remission when I was 17. It happened sometime during my
first semester in university, when I realized I was living independently, my
energy was full, and my "occupation" was unhindered by my illness. Remission
didn't happen overnight, it happened to me while I was living my life…and came
as a lovely gift. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Five years later, I am
going into my third round with remission after my third flare up with my
illness. I realize that you can't just wake up one day and declare that you are
in remission. Waiting to say you are in remission is like waiting on a kettle to
boil on the stove. You wait by the stove for it to whistle - saying that it is
ready. Eventually you decide to do something else with your time instead of
standing by the kettle. When you are not looking, the kettle starts simmering,
smoking, and then comes to a rising boil. Finally, the loud whistling lets you
know that it is ready.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Remission happens when
you are still adjusting to your wobbly wings. Remission starts to simmer as you
step out of your comfort zone a little at a time. Remission rises to a boil
when you test your strength and find that you can accomplish more than you initially
thought. And remission gives you a loud "whistle" when you realize
that you are already "now here." </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Remission itself is a
journey of transformation…from the cocoon to wobbly wings…from
"nowhere" to "now here."
</div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-14105478965463974622012-05-29T10:27:00.001-07:002012-05-29T10:27:02.349-07:00When Pain Becomes Useful<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YjNdDmQF1h8/T8UGyDNc0RI/AAAAAAAAAQM/CQ99x-ZzjwE/s1600/someday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YjNdDmQF1h8/T8UGyDNc0RI/AAAAAAAAAQM/CQ99x-ZzjwE/s320/someday.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
When you are in deep
pain - whether it be physical or emotional - someone telling you that this pain
will be useful someday is probably the last thing you want to hear. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
But it is true - you
may not see it right now because you are not omniscient, but your pain today
can have many useful reasons in the future. When people bring regular physical
exercise back into their routine, their muscles ache and are in pain from being
used after having been stagnant for such a long time. But these people persist
and continue exercising because they know that "pain is gain," and
that the pain they feel at that time is just a few steps away from a healthy
fit body.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
However that is not
the type of pain I am talking about. I am talking about the physical pain that
bothers you in the night and prevents you from getting good sleep. I am talking
about the painful heartbreak that you thought would never heal. I am talking
about the pain of saying goodbye to someone you love and never seeing that
person again. I am talking about the pain that comes from a betrayal and you
don't know how you can trust others again. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I have felt great pain
in my life. This is not a "my pain is bigger than yours game" -
everyone's pain is different. And even though I am only in my mid-20s, I have
already felt pain from illness, betrayal, and brokenness - even before I turned
20 years old. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
During many of the
painful times in my life, I couldn't see past the pain. But looking back now, I
see how all that pain helped shape the person I am today. It led me into a
career path in human services. My previous pain helped me empathize with people
who are going through illness, struggling with broken hearts, or feeling lost
in the world. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
If you are in pain
right now, remember that rainbows can't happen without a little rain. Your pain
right now can be a few steps away from the best day in your life. Your pain
could be bringing you to the best friends you will have. Or your pain could be shaping
you into the best possible person you could be. My pain did all of the above
for me. I am grateful for how my pain eventually led me to meet my wonderful
husband, meet the greatest friends I have today, and helped me become a much
better person than I was before my illness attacked me. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And if you have
overcome pain in your life, maybe today is that day when your pain becomes
useful. How can pain be useful?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Your pain can help you
empathize with someone who is going through a similar situation as you. Because
you have felt a similar pain, you are in a good position to hold that person's
hand and be an example of someone who has overcome such pain.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
"The friend who
can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us
in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing…not healing,
not curing…that is a friend who cares." ~ Henri Nouwen. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Your pain can also be
shaping you to be a better version of your previous self. Before my illness, I
had less empathy, less patience, less desire to help the less fortunate in the
world. My main ambition was to make money and advance in the world with an
important career. Looking back on the person who I used to be, I am so grateful
for who I am today. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Henri Nouwen also
said: Who can save a child from a burning house without the risk of being hurt
by the flames? Who can listen to a story of loneliness and despair without
taking the risk of experiencing similar pains in his own heart and even losing
a precious piece of his mind? In short: "Who can take away suffering
without entering it?"</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
When your pain becomes
useful and you are helping someone's suffering, you will be able to enter into
that person's suffering because your pain has made you strong enough to handle
it. You acquire the strength that you overcome.
And if you feel like you are not ready to enter into someone else's
suffering yet, then give it time. The annoying thing about the word
"someday" is that you don't really know when that day will come…but when
it's there, you will know it. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-70193609539998149892012-05-16T08:03:00.000-07:002012-05-16T08:03:00.207-07:00"On hope and illness"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-43nZNTKrZcE/T7PA34M4kAI/AAAAAAAAAPw/ywna13-CtOc/s1600/hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-43nZNTKrZcE/T7PA34M4kAI/AAAAAAAAAPw/ywna13-CtOc/s320/hope.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f7f1; color: #000099; font-family: Cardo; font-size: 20px; line-height: 30px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I wrote this for the new website I just set up. Please check it out <a href="http://helpingotherpatientseverywhere.weebly.com/" target="_blank">here</a></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f7f1; color: #000099; font-family: Cardo; font-size: 20px; line-height: 30px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f7f1; color: #000099; font-family: Cardo; font-size: 20px; line-height: 30px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Having an illness reminds us of the fragility, sacredness, and brokenness of life. With illness, we learn that we are not invincible and nor are those we love. When you have been diagnosed with a life-changing illness, that illness becomes like a pair of shoes that you wear to walk in on the path of life. Sometimes the shoes can pinch your toes and make walking difficult and painful. Sometimes the shoes fit perfectly and your walk is comfortable and carefree. But it is important to remember that the shoes are on your feet, and not on your face. One who walks in a bad pair of shoes still has the choice to walk with a smile on his or her face. Similarly, our illness affects our physical body…but we have a choice on how it can affect our response to life. <br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Walking down the path of life with an illness is a serious but hopeful journey. Sometimes your illness redirects your path. Sometimes you are walking on steady ground and sometimes it is rocky. Hope encourages us to continue moving forward even though we do not know where we are going. <br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Hope is finding joy in waiting for that which we do not know or are uncertain about. Hope is our comfort when we are waiting for test results, waiting for appointments, waiting for symptoms to subside, waiting for healing, waiting for a cure… </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Having hope means that we know there are people who care about us. Having hope means that we promise ourselves that we will never give up even when others have already done so. Having hope means that we will always look for a detour when we reach a dead end. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />To hope means that we will try again until we succeed. To hope is to believe that we can be the exception to the statistics. To hope is to trust in something that has not yet happened. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Hope knows that not everything has the perfect answer. Hope knows that tears are part of every difficult journey. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Hope encourages us to take the next step. Hope encourages us to persevere. Hope encourages us to give hope to others. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Hope is a light that shines on moments of darkness when you get a bad test result, when your illness flares up, when symptoms get worse. Hope is the power within you to control how you will respond to life’s circumstances. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Hope holds hands with love and joy. Hope stands up to pessimism and fear. Hope says “yes” when everyone else says “never.” Hope does not believe in the impossible. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />When doubtful questions arise, hope is the answer. </span><span style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />During your journey down the path of life, let hope guide your footsteps. </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-51329597384341951522012-05-07T15:41:00.001-07:002012-05-07T15:41:11.047-07:00Lessons from a Butterfly<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IyBFD1WHYC4/T6hO92zH_pI/AAAAAAAAAO4/baBta7qSq58/s1600/b1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IyBFD1WHYC4/T6hO92zH_pI/AAAAAAAAAO4/baBta7qSq58/s320/b1.jpg" width="320" /></a>When people think of
butterflies, they often think of it flying about with its colourful wings,
reflecting the rays of sunlight. People rarely think about the steps the
butterfly took to get where it is now…the time spent in the cocoon, incubated
in darkness, waiting to be fully formed so it can be strong enough to fly. Maya
Angelou says, "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit
the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Every butterfly
started out as a caterpillar…and many inspirational stories of hope have their
beginnings in a time of darkness, pain, suffering. So what then can we learn
from the butterfly?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b>Incubating in
Darkness</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Susan Monk Kidd
wrote in <span style="font-style: italic;">When the Heart Waits</span>, "To
incubate means to create the conditions necessary for development." Such
conditions include darkness. Kidd states that darkness is crucial to the
process of incubating a new form of life, for it to grow and emerge. Even
babies are incubated in darkness in the womb while they wait for birth.
Therefore, waiting in darkness does not have to symbolise a terrible process.
We can be grateful for this period because this darkness has created conditions
necessary for our development and growth.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
If you have read my
previous post on "<a href="http://helpingotherpatientseverywhere.blogspot.com/2012/02/growing-from-pain.html" target="_blank">Growing from Pain,"</a> you can see how darkness in
one's life can actually be a positive thing. This time of waiting in the dark
can be spent waiting on God to change you and develop you to be the person He
wants you to be to further His purpose. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I have waited during
several periods of darkness in my life. My greatest period of darkness was when
I had just turned 18 years old. I had just been diagnosed with a rare
neurological disease, and several months later, I was cast off by my immediate
family because of stressful family issues. I was eager to start university in
the fall of 2006 at the same time of my peers, but I was not yet ready. My
stamina was still not up to par. My heart was still healing. My wings were not
fully formed. I emerged from my cocoon in January 2007, after my period of
waiting and being incubated in darkness, and found that I emerged at the
perfect time to attend the university where God wanted me to attend so I can
meet the friends He wanted me to meet. During my first semester of college in
spring 2007, my wings were strong and agile. I got a part-time job, a
leadership position, enrolled in a fitness class, and found the heart to agree
to meet my biological father. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
My next period of
darkness occurred when I was 23, a couple months shortly after I just got
married. My illness had flared up for the second time that year, and I was
frustrated and angry at God, wondering why He couldn't let me live a normal
life. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
But I think God was
saying, "I want more than a 'normal' life for you. I want you to develop a
heart of compassion. I want you to use again the gift of writing I had given to
you. I want you to reach out to the broken and hurting people and give them
hope…hope that I can give you while you are waiting in your darkness."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
"Like
the butterfly, I have the strength and the hope to believe, in time I will
emerge from my cocoon…Transformed."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_oUPBCNwN1M/T6hO-OuiqbI/AAAAAAAAAPA/L-AR3ayD7iY/s1600/b2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_oUPBCNwN1M/T6hO-OuiqbI/AAAAAAAAAPA/L-AR3ayD7iY/s1600/b2.jpg" /></a>There is a parable
about a man who found a butterfly cocoon and decided to save it. One day a
small opening appeared, and the man watched as the butterfly struggled to force
its body through the little hole. After a while, it seemed like the butterfly
could not make any more progress. The man then took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
However, it emerged
with a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. Although it had emerged from
the cocoon, it was unable to fly because the wings were not fully formed. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The moral of this
story is that although he had good intentions, the man did not understand that
the butterfly was not yet ready to emerge from the cocoon. It needed its
struggles in the cocoon to make it stronger so that it can fully form its
wings. The incubation in darkness was creating the conditions necessary to
ready its wings so that it can take flight once it emerged from the cocoon. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
If we try to break
out of our cocoon too soon, we may emerge with shriveled wings and are unable
to reach our full potential because we were impatient during our time of
waiting.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Patience has never
been one of my strongest virtues. I am still "waiting" in my cocoon
right now. A couple months ago, I was filling out an application for the
Master's in Social Work program at the University of Washington. I figured that
since I was not able to attend my MSW program the year before because of my
illness, I can try again. But then I realized, as much as I have the right
intentions and the desire to attend graduate school - I was not ready yet. My
medications were still not stable. My stamina was still not to par. My wings
were not yet fully formed. I was still waiting on God to create the right
conditions so that when I emerge, I can fly easily and freely. Today, I trust
God that when I do finally emerge from my cocoon - my time spent incubated in
darkness will have given me fully formed wings for His purpose. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Many Christians also
see the butterfly as a "symbol of hope" as it characterizes the
process of disappearing into the cocoon and appearing dead, and then emerging
into a beautiful and more powerful creature than before. Like the butterfly,
when we emerge from our cocoons, we can trust that we will be stronger than
before. The transformation completed during the incubation in darkness has
enabled us to fly freely and show off our beautiful colours. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Where are you in
life right now? Are you spending your time, incubated in darkness, waiting on
God to transform you? Are you struggling to break out of your cocoon?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
So whether you are
waiting in a cocoon or flying around as a butterfly, relish the moment. Waiting
in the cocoon is only preparing you for a stronger, more beautiful version of
you. And if you are a butterfly, the colours formed on your wings reflect your
lessons learned through your struggles during your time of incubation in
darkness. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-42330531245714919702012-05-02T12:23:00.000-07:002012-05-02T12:23:07.351-07:00"Welcome to Wherever You Are"<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zsybI-90H6c/T6GItWUT04I/AAAAAAAAAOM/fnzYAbWiNXI/s1600/be+where.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zsybI-90H6c/T6GItWUT04I/AAAAAAAAAOM/fnzYAbWiNXI/s1600/be+where.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was recently going
through old Facebook notes I had published and found one where I had filled out
a survey about what is going on in my life. It asked random questions like,
"What is your hair like? Who do you have a crush on? Where do you live?"</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's interesting
looking back on years past and comparing it to where I am today. Several years
ago, I had imagined an entirely different life for me.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was 17 years
old, I was planning on attending the University of Western Ontario and then
eventually moving on to law school to become a criminal lawyer. I was very
driven and determined…I figured this plan would be a cinch. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But then I got
diagnosed with a rare neurological disease that debilitated me for several
months. I ended up moving to the west coast - an unexpected change in plans.
Then I wound up applying to a small Christian university - Trinity Western
University. The initial plan was to stay there for my first semester, so I can
slowly branch out and test myself at living a "normal life" on my
own. I ended up loving it there, meeting new friends, changed my major three
times to human services, and through friends - I eventually met my husband. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When my husband and
I got married, we were planning on moving to Toronto where I was accepted into
the social work program there. But at the end of our honeymoon, I got sick
again. Once more, my illness was responsible for changing plans. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So my husband and I
ended up staying here in the Seattle area. He found a great job and a new
career track that he loves. I ended up being the "stay-at-home" wife
- and actually liked it. I liked planning new baking projects, working on house
projects, and writing encouraging blogs and providing online support to people
with an illness via Facebook. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plans change.
Everyone knows that. I always wonder why God allowed for me to get sick again
when I had such good intentions. I was hoping to become a medical social
worker, and perhaps do my practicum at the only children's clinic for my
illness in the world in Toronto. Instead, God brought me here. I am still not
sure what I am supposed to be doing "here," - do I return to humans
services? Am I making a difference in giving hope to people online? Do people
at the hospital appreciate the free baked good I bring?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bon Jovi sings in
their song, "Welcome to wherever you are….You gotta believe, that right
here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So welcome to
wherever you are. Maybe you are like me and you didn't end up where you thought
you would be because of an illness, or something else discouraging. I believe
that God can use any kind of circumstance for His purpose. Max Lucado wrote a
small devotion about the "purpose of pain." That sometimes, people go
through pain so that their faith and hope in God can be a witness to people who
will be amazed at their peace in suffering. Max Lucado's father died from an
illness, and while he was ill, his faith brought a man to Jesus. Max Lucado's
father's suffering brought a soul to God which was priceless. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe right now -
wherever you are - you are waiting. I am currently waiting. I am waiting for a
cure. I am waiting to get the right job. I am waiting to stop my
chemotherapy. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brandon Heath says
this in his song, "Wait and See."</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still wondering why
I'm here</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still wrestling with
my fear</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But oh, He's up to
something</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And the farther on I
go</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've seen enough to
know</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That I'm, not here
for nothing</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He's up to something</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The apostle Paul
intended to speak to the nations about Jesus. Instead of accepting Paul, the
people imprisoned him and chained him to hinder his mission. He did not end up
where he intended to be…but he was where God intended him to be, because in his
prison while in chains, he was able to share his message to the prison guards
there. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">"Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened
to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear
throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for
Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been
encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.</span> "</span></div>
<div style="color: #333333; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Philippians
1:12-14<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So wherever you are
in life right now, it is not for nothing. God is with you wherever you go and
can use you wherever you are. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Welcome to wherever
you are.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-30829351786282099252012-04-24T11:05:00.001-07:002012-04-24T11:18:43.124-07:00"Living Forward"<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-left: .375in; margin: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g8K-sQRnG5g/T5bqlTmo5MI/AAAAAAAAANk/uuC6HDKojyk/s1600/diary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g8K-sQRnG5g/T5bqlTmo5MI/AAAAAAAAANk/uuC6HDKojyk/s1600/diary.jpg" /></a></div>
Today
I re-opened an old journal that I had written in a couple of years ago. When I
was journaling, I had used it as a form of therapeutic venting…I would write
about almost every moment of my life that I thought was interesting, and
recount conversations with people that I wanted to remember. Reading these past
entries was like going through a time machine and reliving those moments,
remembering the exact feelings I had when certain events happened. I couldn't
believe the entries that I had written about - all the time wasted on worries,
unreturned feelings, and wondering about the future. If only I could have gone
back in time and bopped myself on the head to get my act together, and told
myself that everything will work out okay in the future. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-left: .375in; margin: 0in;">
<i>"When
I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a
child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways" (1
Corinthians 13:11). </i>After rereading these past entries, I can see that I still
had childishness in my words, thoughts and reasoning. It took more trials, more
challenges, and more questioning for me to grow up and put away childish ways.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-left: .375in; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-left: .375in; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3JzqTfQFfS8/T5buY8Dp4UI/AAAAAAAAANs/Hks7_75kV8I/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3JzqTfQFfS8/T5buY8Dp4UI/AAAAAAAAANs/Hks7_75kV8I/s1600/5.jpg" /></a>In
my human services class, one of our projects was to write a guided
autobiography. This autobiography helped us to reflect back on significant
periods in our life, how they played a role in shaping who we are today, and if
there were any leftover ties to the past that needed to be severed, or feelings
left unspoken that needed to be let out. It was while writing this
autobiography that I was able to completely forgive the hurts from my
childhood, learned how to move forward, and understand what inspired me or
motivated me. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-left: .375in; margin: 0in;">
A
marriage counselor once came to speak at my university, and I never forget the
analogy that he used when he described counseling married couples. He said that
all the hurts and bitterness that are left unresolved in each person's life are
carried with them…like in a suitcase. Some people have really heavy suitcases
filled with anger, resentment, and bitterness. When two people get married,
their suitcases become one big suitcase…so that everything that was in their
private suitcase are poured into the same bag. They walk around together
carrying this accumulated baggage, and when problems arise in their marriage
that don't go resolved - they add that to their baggage. And when they come to
a marriage counselor for help, the marriage counselor has to rifle through all
the items in their suitcase to be able to pinpoint the problem since they have
brought over so much baggage from their personal suitcase. The key lesson was
this: take care of your baggage before getting married, or else they will just add
to your marital struggles or make them worse.
</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wBaGpZtSJIQ/T5bqj-31MBI/AAAAAAAAANc/YcivtccnxZc/s1600/living_forward.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wBaGpZtSJIQ/T5bqj-31MBI/AAAAAAAAANc/YcivtccnxZc/s1600/living_forward.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin-left: .375in; margin: 0in;">
After
I heard this speaker, I made a personal promise to myself to take care of all
my baggage. I was in a serious relationship at that time - to my future husband
- and there were so many things in my life that were still left unresolved and
unforgiven, and I didn't want to be heading towards a marriage and have my
childish ways follow me. I wanted to move forward with my life, unencumbered by
my past and open to a bright future. But living forward isn't a one-time
process, living forward is a daily journey and a daily choice that we make to
keep the past behind us, and the future ahead of us.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div style="font-size: 12pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>How
to live forward?</b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="1"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b style="background-color: yellow;">Learn from the past, don't live in it.</b></span></li>
</ol>
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Everyone
has their own suitcase of hurt, anger, pain, and heartbreaking memories. Some
people refuse to let their suitcase go, and it only becomes heavier everyday
until they're struggling so much that they fall and can't get up. You can't run
freely in life when you are carrying tons of baggage. It may take a lot of
time, effort, and prayer to finally let go of your baggage, but when you do -
the heart will feel so much lighter. The only thing from the past that you
should be carrying is lessons learned. </div>
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<br /></div>
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If
you have trouble giving your baggage away, just ask Jesus about it - He is
always willing to trade baggage with you.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Matthew 11:28-30</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">“… Come to me, all who labor and are
heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from
me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="2"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b style="background-color: yellow;">Become friends with forgiveness.</b></span></li>
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Forgiveness
can be difficult for many people. For some, they have been hurt so many times
that they don't believe in forgiveness anymore. Some people have made some
shameful decisions that they can't forgive themselves. But for every person you
haven't yet forgiven, that person is a heavy weight on your heart. Cartherine
Ponder said, <i>"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to
that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.
Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."</i></div>
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Maybe
you think, "But that person hurt me so much! You don't understand. I can't
possibly forgive that person!" Forgiving doesn't mean you have to restore
a relationship, or even become friends with the person who hurt you - it means
that you have forgiven the person and have let go of all feelings of revenge,
malice, and anger about that person. You have given that person over to God for
Him to judge in the future. When you forgive someone, you are saying, "I
am not letting that person have an affect or a hold on me any longer. I am
leaving that person to God to be judged in the future."</div>
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<br /></div>
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Some
people want retribution right away for all the pain they had to go through, but
revenge belongs to God (Romans 12:19), God's revenge will take care of anything
left unpunished, and I think one would be more afraid of God's retribution than
anyone else's. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;" value="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b style="background-color: yellow;">Don't fear the future</b></span></li>
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It's
been said a lot of times but it's true…worries are a waste of time. My husband
would laugh if he heard me say this, since I spend a lot of time thinking
"what if" or coming up with all the possible pessimistic outcomes of
situations. My worst days with "worry" happened after I was released
from a three-week stay in the hospital, without insurance since my husband had
no benefits yet with his job. I spent so much time worrying about making the
payment…when in the end, all that worry was for nothing because God took care
of it and provided 100%. </div>
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<br /></div>
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So
instead, replace worries with hope. When you catch yourself thinking,
"What if this happens…," instead say, "I hope that God takes
care of it." And then say a quick prayer to give your request to God. </div>
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<br /></div>
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For
a while, I spent a lot of time worrying that I might get sick again, or that my
illness will return with such a heavy blow next time that I may not recover.
But I refuse to live my life in fear of the future, because what is the point
of living when you are afraid of life? </div>
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<br /></div>
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God
knows your future. He takes care of the birds in the air, and He would take
even better care of you. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-34778129158889469872012-04-18T09:47:00.000-07:002012-04-18T09:49:14.038-07:00"When Hope is Blind"<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Hi everyone! I have recently started writing another blog dedicated to devotional posts. I decided to include my latest devotional as a post here, but please check out this blog for more devotional posts to come: <span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.hopeforthespirit.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Hope for the Spirit</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">THE
WORD:</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xguexl4KAS4/T47q5MpWVSI/AAAAAAAAANQ/awG5htdeNJs/s1600/hope0.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xguexl4KAS4/T47q5MpWVSI/AAAAAAAAANQ/awG5htdeNJs/s320/hope0.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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"Faith is the confidence that what we
hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot
see." </div>
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Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)</div>
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<br /></div>
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" For in this
hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what
they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it
patiently."</div>
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Romans 8:24 (NLT)</div>
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<br /></div>
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"For I am
convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the
present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be
able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our
Lord."</div>
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Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">DEVOTION:</span></div>
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Some people give up on
hope because they lose focus on the possibilities. They give up and claim that
it is a "lost cause" because they are tired of hoping for something
they cannot see. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
With a rare and
incurable neurological disease, I live each day with the possibility that my
illness can return at any time. Maybe with new symptoms. Maybe with permanent
brain damage. Maybe the next time God will call me Home. Despite all these
possibilities, I continue to hope that I will get better, and that one day - a
cure can be found…even for such a rare illness as mine. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Some people give up on
hope because it has disappointed them too many times. I was diagnosed with my
illness at the age of 17, and it has struck me two more times since then with
different symptoms. There was a point when I thought, "Will I ever be rid
of this illness? Will it always be haunting my life?"</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Hope is the desire
that there is something better around the corner. When hope is blind, you
cannot see what awaits you around this corner. That is why hope holds hands
with faith…because faith "gives us assurance about things we cannot
see" (Hebrews 11:1).</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I don't know if a cure
will ever be found for my illness in my lifetime. I don't know if I might be
hospitalized again this year. But I continue to hope that the sun will still
rise even after the darkest and coldest night. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
For Christians, our
hope is fueled by God's love. No matter what happens in this lifetime, our hope
in God will never disappoint us. When life brings tears and pain, God says,
"Hold on. I have much better things waiting for you."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
So during the times of
trials, we hold on to hope that God's purpose in this pain will be revealed to
us. We remember that only God sees the full picture, and He knows what is
around the corner. Blessings can spring out of burdens. Hopefulness can come from
helplessness. Love can bloom from what once was lost. And when you have trouble
keeping hope in God, remember "that the sufferings of this present time
are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us"
(Romans 8:18). </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
So you don't have to
worry when your hope is blind, because God is omniscient and has a plan for
you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
"God is the
reason why even in pain, I smile; In confusion, I understand; and in fear, I
continue to fight." (Unknown)</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">PRAYER:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Dear God, You know
everything about me and about my life. I am limited but you are an unlimited
God. When I am ready to give up hope when life brings me down, please remind me
that Your ways are higher than my ways, and that Your thoughts are higher than
my thoughts. I may not understand now why I am going through this pain, but I
understand that You work everything for Your glory. Although my hope is blind,
help me to be patient for Your answer, Your rescue, and Your coming kingdom.
Amen.</div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">APPLICATION:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
What do you hope for
right now? How can you remind yourself to keep holding on? How would you
encourage someone to hold on to hope when he or she is ready to give up? Do you
think that faith in God makes a difference in hope?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">WORSHIP:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<i>"Before the
Morning" - Josh Wilson</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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"Would you dare, would you dare, to believe,<br />
that you still have a reason to sing,<br />
'cause the pain you've been feeling,<br />
can't compare to the joy that's coming<br />
<br />
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,<br />
that you still have a reason to sing,<br />
'cause the pain you've been feeling,<br />
can't compare to the joy that's coming<br />
<br />
Com'n, you got to wait for the light<br />
press on, just fight the good fight<br />
because the pain you've been feeling,<br />
it's just the hurt before the healing<br />
the pain you've been feeling,<br />
just the dark before the morning"</div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-30322268016431239262012-04-16T13:37:00.000-07:002012-04-16T13:37:21.515-07:00If I could write a letter to me....<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/RQ3bn7V0zdU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
There is a popular
song by Brad Paisley called, "Letter to Me," Play the song and listen
to the lyrics. Brad Paisley talks about how he would write a letter to himself
at the age of 17 from the perspective of his older, wiser self. He tells his
17-year-old self that although he has a broken heart, it will heal. He tells
himself to hug his aunt as much as he can, and to thank his teacher for having
faith in him through all the years. He tells himself that "at 17 it's hard
to see past Friday night." He also tells himself that he regrets not
taking Spanish. But despite everything that happened to him at 17, he says,
"you'll still be around to write a letter to me."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
How would you write
a letter to yourself? Can you think back to a time when it seemed like that
life just couldn't get any worse? Maybe there was a certain period in your life
that was filled with uncertainties and you couldn't imagine how it could all get
better. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I am only 24 years
old, but I know that I am definitely wiser than the person I was at 17. There
is a saying that you could base your age not on the number of years you have,
but on your experience. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
There was a time
when I was 17 when life became the opposite of how I imagined it would be. I
was just diagnosed with CNS vasculitis, partially bald from a brain biopsy,
bloated on steroids, and missing school. My self-esteem was very low. I didn't
know if I would graduate on time. And because I was just diagnosed with a
neurological disease, I didn't know if I could ever live up to my high academic
standards again. If I could write a letter to myself at 17, in December 2005
before I would start my senior spring semester, I would say this:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Dear Chelsey 2005,</div>
<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HXGrx9OCmpA/T4yBmlwCknI/AAAAAAAAANA/zT77UrzZJlk/s1600/letters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HXGrx9OCmpA/T4yBmlwCknI/AAAAAAAAANA/zT77UrzZJlk/s1600/letters.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
This is a letter
from seven years from now. I know you are feeling very down because your senior
year is not what you expected it to be. You were supposed to be on the
executive student council. You worked hard to get that position. You had
interviewed to be a mentor for the junior high students. You were planning on
getting top grades so that you can win a great scholarship to the university of
your choice.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
But don't worry…you
will finish your chemotherapy sessions in time to attend your spring semester
of your senior year. And the psychologist who said that you will be a C+
average is wrong…you will graduate with the top of your class with two academic
awards. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mFpmwAL_lUk/T4yBhZPvkJI/AAAAAAAAAM4/iZsg_P86psY/s1600/hmwrk+at+the+hospital+-+Sept+05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mFpmwAL_lUk/T4yBhZPvkJI/AAAAAAAAAM4/iZsg_P86psY/s320/hmwrk+at+the+hospital+-+Sept+05.jpg" width="320" /></a>I know you think
this disease has ruined your life, but actually - it will make you a stronger,
wiser, and more compassionate person. Remember how you were planning on
becoming a criminal lawyer? You were so driven and thought that this career
would bring meaning and security in your life. But as you get older, you will
find that meaning can be found in anything…even as a stay-at-home wife who
writes encouraging blogs for people, or gives away baked goods for free because
she secretly would love to have her own bakery. :P</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I know at this time
you are feeling a lot of stress from your home situation and you wonder if you
will ever escape it. You were hoping that your opportunity to leave would come
in the form of a scholarship to a university far away from home, but now you
don't even know if you will graduate on time with your friends. But relax -
everything will work out well. Your mom is going to send you to live with your
aunt for a while so you can fully recover without living in a constant
stressful situation, and moving to the west coast will be one of the best
decisions you will ever make in your life. There, you will apply to a smaller
Christian university - one you thought that was beneath your potential, but
this school will actually change and challenge you - and all for the better. At
this school you will meet some genuine best friends. And through these friends,
you will meet your best friend for life - who will vow to stay by you, no
matter what. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And when you move to
the west coast, hug Auntie Eva - as much as you can. You won't have much time
left with her.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">You
may be bitter and angry at life right now, but remember that you don't see the
full picture - God does. A wise person said, </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">"God has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never
understand His reasons, but we simply have to trust His will." And when
you see your life seven years from now, you would be amazed at all the
blessings God has given you because of this illness…because you will get sick
again, and with new symptoms…and you'll wonder why does it seem that God keeps
allowing this illness to flare up.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
But sometimes God
uses such trials to mold us into a better person, to the person that He wants
to be and that He can use for His purpose. You wouldn't have the compassion,
empathy, or generosity to change your major to human services in your last year
of university…if it wasn't for all the trials that you went through in life.
Everything that has happened to you has strengthened you to become who you will
be in 2012 - and that person that God has molded is a much better version of
you than you had in mind. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And about those
family troubles..you will be happy to hear that you fought bitterness and won.
You decided that living a life of peace and forgiveness is much better than a
life of anger and resentment. Another wise person said, "What you need to
know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked
together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can
choose to make everything new. Right now."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Life will continue
to go up and down for you. You will experience some broken hearts. You will
have financial problems. You will be rejected by family relatives you thought
would stand by you. But like Brad Paisley says, "You'll make it through
this and you'll see. You're still around to write this letter to me."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Life isn't worth living if you are afraid to live it. Take risks. Don't be afraid to speak from your heart. Hope is knowing that God has a purpose for everything you go through...and everything you are going through today will lead you to the best years of your life. </div>
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Hugs and blessings,</div>
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Chelsey, 2012</div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-34245703849013946542012-04-07T01:25:00.002-07:002012-04-07T01:25:33.248-07:00Beauty in Brokenness<br />
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Everyone has a story
that can break your heart. But life can be beautiful when you can see beauty in
the brokenness. Some people decide to dwell in the brokenness, while others
accept their brokenness and then make their way into turning it beautiful. </div>
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For example, go and
visit a hospital sometime. There may be a person in the ER, grumpy and
screaming at the nurses to hurry up and fix his broken arm. And then maybe you
go upstairs to the cancer ward. And there, you find a bald lady sitting up in
bed, smiling within the last few hours of her life. </div>
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We all have had
injuries…physical injuries, emotional injuries, mental injuries, perhaps
spiritual injuries…but we don't need to live with these injuries everyday. When
one has hope, one believes in the possibility that God has more for life in
store. </div>
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The beauty of
brokenness is that there is hope that it can result in something greater. When
we are broken, we allow our hearts to be more open for God to glue them back
together. And God's glue is sturdier than anything else that we rely on with
our hearts. </div>
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The beauty of the
family problems I had in my childhood is that I can relate well to others who
are suffering from broken relationships.</div>
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The beauty of living
with a rare and incurable neurological disease is that it has helped me be
empathetic to others who also suffer from an illness.</div>
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The beauty of the
hurt and pain that I have endured have resulted in scars on my heart, where God
had glued the pieces together. These scars remind me of lessons learned, and
that God can fix anything that I give to Him. </div>
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Maybe you can't see
the beauty in a broken situation right now, but remember that we are like Job -
who did not know or understand the ways of God. Job had everything ripped apart
from his life - his children, his wealth, his health - and God didn't answer
even when Job questioned why he was suffering. Despite all this, Job decides to
fully trust in God even though he felt no beauty in his broken situation at
all. </div>
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Maybe you are having
trouble seeing beauty in your brokenness too, but just like a popular worships
song says to God, "You make beautiful things out of the dust. You make
beautiful things out of us."</div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stephan
Hoeller said, </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">"A pearl is a
beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that
results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world
is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not
been injured, then we will not produce the pearl." </span></div>
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We are all pearls. </div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-37516617224909356392012-03-29T12:49:00.001-07:002012-04-07T01:23:25.468-07:00What will you leave behind?<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;">I heard this song on
the radio when I was young, and was very intrigued with the story and the
lyrics. It tells a story of four people on a bus - a farmer, a teacher, a
preacher and a hooker. The bus got into an accident, and only one person
survived. The song then goes to say what each person left behind on earth
before he or she died. The farmer left behind a great farm for his son. The
teacher left behind wisdom given to the students. And the preacher left his
Bible and gave it to the hooker. The hooker read the Bible to her son, and the
son became a preacher and shared this song. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I don't know if this
song is based on a true story, but it does have a powerful point - that we
don't know when God decides that it is time for us to meet Him. But when that
time comes, the song says: "<i><b>It's not what you take, when you leave this
world behind you. It's what you leave behind you when you go."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">My parent's told me
that when I was in the ICU, I almost died 3 times when I stopped breathing, one
time I was losing too much blood, and the other time my blood pressure had
dropped way low. If I had died at 17, I don't know how much of a legacy I would
have left behind. People at high school would have said, "She was a sweet
girl. Very smart. Had good leadership skills. She loved theatre." People
from church would have said, "She was great with kids. She volunteered a
lot."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">But while I was in
the ICU, while the doctors were frantically trying to diagnose me, maybe God
thought, "No - I have more plans for you, Chelsey - you are not going
yet."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">And I am so glad I
didn't die. I think I have done much
more in the 6 years following my illness, then I did in the first 17 years of
my life when I was perfectly healthy. After my diagnosis, I went to the
Dominican Republic and helped families in need, and played and sang with
orphaned children. I volunteered my time with at-risk youth. I played music for
the elderly at the nursing home. I helped give food and clothes to the
homeless.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I got sick again in
September 2011. I was having constant subclinical seizures, and the doctors
told my husband that I may have permanent brain damage if they are not able to
stop the seizures soon. But again, God said, "No - I have more plans for you."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When I was
recovering, I did not yet understand why I had gotten sick again. I was on my
way to going to graduate school for medical social work - but getting sick
again put me on a detour from my plan. But God's detours are always better than
the plans we make for ourselves. Jesus said in John13:7, "You do not
realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">After my last
flare-up, I started this blog, and an online support group on Facebook for
people who live with an illness. And I have been able to reach out to many
people around the world, thanks to the Internet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">It may be hard to
think about, but we all know that we don't know when our last moment on earth
will be. That is why every moment in the present is important. This is why my
husband and I never let the sun go down on our anger. Every time we say
goodbye, we do it with a kiss and an "I love you" - even if we are
just saying goodbye on the phone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Maybe you think that
you are not leaving behind much of a legacy…that you haven't done anything
significant in your life. But remember that even a small rock dropped in a pond
causes a ripple effect, and the ripple goes on and on and we cannot see how far
it goes. That is like how it is with small acts of kindness. Maybe you are like
the teacher in this song, and you shared some bits of wisdom with others - who
took it with them and helped them make important choices in their lives. Maybe
you are like the farmer and you worked hard preparing something for a future
generation. Maybe you are like the preacher, and his gift of a Bible helped a
lost soul find faith. In this song, the preacher died in the accident - and
never got to see what happened when he gave his Bible away to the hooker. But
as you see in the song, this one small action caused a ripple effect that led
to the woman giving birth to a son, and she read to him from this Bible, and
the son became a preacher who shared the Good News. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">So don't
underestimate the significance of the small acts of kindness you do. Shannon L.
Alder said, “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into
the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Although I may not
see how far the ripple effect will go, I will continue to live life giving hope
to others. So if I unexpectedly get sick again, and God says that this time I
will meet Him, I would have been proud of the life I left behind. Because like
Emily Dickinson said, "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not
live in vain."</span></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-32204418851521907032012-03-23T09:00:00.002-07:002012-03-23T09:00:55.087-07:00Getting Back Up Again<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;">Ever wonder what
toddlers think in their head while they are learning to walk? Toddlers usually
learn to walk by the time they are 1 year old, but at that time they are not
yet speaking full coherent sentences. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Toddlers usually
learn to stand on their own first, then take a few small steps - all to the
wonder and amazement of the parents - and then fall down. The toddler then
returns to crawling again for a while before beginning to walk again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">But after each
attempt at walking and at each fall, the parent is still very much encouraging
- even coaxing the toddler to stand up and try again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When the toddler
finally is able to maintain balance and start walking independently, it's a
joyous moment for the parents since this is a significant developmental
accomplishment. After a while and much encouragement, the toddler is finally
able to walk on his or her own, even if doing so unsteadily.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When I was 17, I was
relearning to walk again. After being diagnosed with central nervous system
vasculitis, I had ataxia as a symptom. Ataxia is a neurological sign or symptom
that means the lack of coordination or muscle movements. I remember the physical
therapist coming to visit me regularly when I was still laying in the hospital
bed. The first step was to be able to sit up on my own. I remember the first
time I sat up in bed and feeling dizzy and unsteady, after I was laying down
for so long.<span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The physical
therapist came back every single day, to help me try again. He pushed me to do
more everyday - more than I thought I could handle. He trusted in my progress
more than I trusted in myself, and helped me gain confidence in my abilities.
When I was finally able to stand on my own, it was a great feeling. I didn't
realize how much I valued the use of my legs until I finally managed to put one
foot in front of the other, and walked my first couple of steps. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In life, we also
have many attempts and many falls. Sometimes we try things out and they don't
work. Sometimes something happens that deters us from the goal we originally
desired. Sometimes falling is not our fault, and life gives us something that
we trip over along the journey. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">TobyMac, in his
song, "Get back up," sings:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">We lose our way, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">We get back up again</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Never too late to
get back up again,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">One day, you gonna
shine again,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">You may be knocked
down but not out forever,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I've had my own
falls recently. Last spring in 2011, life was looking like a beautiful
adventure. I had just gotten married and my husband and I were leaving for our
honeymoon in Europe. Afterward, we were going to move to the other side of the
country where I was accepted at the graduate program for social work at the
University of Toronto.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">But at the end of
our honeymoon, I got sick when my illness flared up again. This changed our
decision about moving across the country…we thought it wasn't a good idea for
me to start a graduate program right after my illness had resurfaced after 6
years. My husband and I then moved near Seattle because of his job, and I was
excited to begin a career in the city. But then my illness flared up again -
with worse symptoms - and it looked like I would not be living the life I had
imagined. </span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Currently, I am just
staying at home. There were<span> </span>times when I
have felt like I was being useless and doing nothing that is meaningful to the
world. I may have been close to dying but I didn't think I was close to leaving
behind any legacy. This is probably because I know my abilities and I have had
the educational training to do much more than just cooking and cleaning in the
house. </span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Charles Swindoll
said, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
It took me some time to accept this, but living with an invisible illness will
have lots of stumbling blocks and falls. And like a toddler, I will have to get
up after each fall and try walking those few steps again. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">When we fall in
life, we also have a wonderful Parent who is coaxing us and encouraging us to
get back up on our feet. God is the Father who is there every time we fall, and
offers His hand to help us get back up on our feet and try again. He is much
better than a physical therapist, because He knows the plans He has for us
(Jeremiah 29:11). And after each time we fall, we only need to hold his hand so
we can stay in His plan. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I am not just
speaking literally about getting back up on our feet. Look at Christopher Reevs
- the man who played Superman in the original movies. After an equestrian
accident, he became a quadriplegic. But he was able to "get back up
again" with his spirit of hope through his struggles, and continued to be
an inspiration for many. You don't need to be 100% physically capable in order
to let a little light shine in this world. A heart of hope in the midst of
trials can bring encouragement…and if you encourage even just one person…that
is enough, because even a whole room can be lit up as one candle passes its
flame to another. </span></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-38879938263073435982012-03-14T13:31:00.000-07:002012-04-07T01:23:25.476-07:00A Bridge Over Troubled Water<br />
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Henri Nouwen said
that "authentic messengers" are "those who are able to put the
full range of their life-experiences - their experiences in prayer, in
conversation, and in their lonely hours - at the disposal of those who ask
them… (It) means offering your own life-experience to your fellow travelers,
and as Paul Simon sings, to lay yourself down like a bridge over troubled
water" (Nouwen, <span style="font-style: italic;">Creative Ministry</span>).
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Henri Nouwen is one
of my favourite authors - I discovered him when we read his book <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wounded Healer</span> for my human services
class. Through his book, we learned to be helpers who take our wounds and allow
them to be a source of healing for those who are wounded:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Nobody escapes being wounded. We all
are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
The main question is not "How can we hide our wounds?" so we don't
have to be embarrassed, but "How can we put our woundedness in the service
of others?" When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a
source of healing, we have become wounded healers. Jesus is God's wounded
healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus' suffering and death brought
joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community
of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to
others" (Nouwen, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wounded Healer</span>).
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Troubled waters
present uncertainty, doubt, fear, anxiety and the unknown. Sometimes when a
friend needs us, we can be a bridge for them because we also have wounds and
therefore can sympathize and understand what they are going through. We can be
a bridge from a heavy heart to a lighthearted smile, from doubt to hope, from
anxiety to peace. </div>
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When people who are
afraid of heights are walking over a bridge across troubled water, they are
afraid to look down. If they look down they see water beneath them and the
thought of falling off crosses their mind and distracts them from their goal of
reaching the other side. When you are with a friend who needs help, he or she
may dwell on the problems that cannot be solved and fear might prevent that
person from moving forward. As wounded healers, we understand and remember when
we were once anxious and afraid of the unknown, and feared crossing the bridge
over troubled water to the other side. Sometimes the best kind of friend you
can be is to share in the wounds of others, and stay with them during their
hour of grief or loneliness. Sometimes the best gift to give is not advice,
solution, or a cure, but a hand to hold while crossing the bridge. </div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-7519536511704867062012-03-02T13:46:00.000-08:002012-03-02T13:46:14.066-08:00A Strength that Lasts<br />
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Today I saw my
neurologist and he told me that he would like me to try a new seizure
medication (my fifth one!) and hopefully this time, I won't develop any more
allergies. The reason for this is that my last EEG showed that there are areas
in my brain still at risk for seizures, and being on this medication will help
prevent me from having another episode of severe subclinical seizures. </div>
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I wouldn't mind the
medications if it weren't for the side effects. Another big side effect of this
seizure medication is fatigue - which is usual for seizure medications. However
I was a bit disappointed to hear that I might be more tired again, just as I
was beginning to regain my old energy levels. </div>
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Last fall, I was on
three types of seizure medications that caused me severe fatigue. I was so weak
that my husband was kind enough to always carry all the grocery bags from the
car to the house. Physical weakness is a part of life…sometimes we feel weak
when we are sick, and as adults get older, they begin to lose physical
strength. </div>
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We do not have much
control over how physically strong we are. No matter how much I lift weights, I
am probably too small to ever be as physically strong as my husband. But there
is another kind of strength that we have control over.</div>
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It is the strength of
the heart. When I was 17 years old and my body started deteriorating in the ICU
because of my illness, my parents told me that other organs began failing too
and it was only my heart that was keeping strong - probably because I was a
physically active teenager. However, I am not talking about that kind of
"strong heart" - I am talking about a heart of hope, faith and
courage.</div>
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While we may not be
able to control our physical strength, we can always CHOOSE the strength of our
heart. When faced with trials, you can choose the level of your courage. Do you
retreat and wait for the trial to pass you by, or do you face it with courage
and let your trial make you stronger than the person you were before?</div>
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A heart of strength is
what helps you endure when life gets rocky. When I was weak from the
chemotherapy and fatigued from the seizure medications, it was my heart of
strength that led me to write this blog, so I can share my hope in everyday
with all of you. </div>
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
said, "We acquire the strength we have overcome." The<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>next time you face times of trouble, remember
that it is during these times of trouble that we have the opportunity to grow
deeper in faith, and strengthen our hearts. </div>
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Richard E.Byrd said,
"Few (people) during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the
resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never
used."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never underestimate the strength
of your heart. Whenever you feel like you are not strong enough to handle what
you are going through, know that there is a God who loves you and has promised
to give you His strength when you ask for it. Psalm 138:3, "When I called,
you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted." </div>
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A heart of strength
also requires daily exercise to keep it strong. You can maintain your heart of
strength with positive thinking, counting your blessings, living with hope, and
finding the purpose in the pain. </div>
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I choose to let my
heart be stronger than the sum of all my problems.</div>
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To let my faith be
always stronger than my health.</div>
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To let my hope always
be stronger than central nervous system vasculitis</div>
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And, "May the God
of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may
overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13</div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8938662231367211752.post-5553835487241472922012-02-20T13:12:00.001-08:002012-02-24T10:45:01.049-08:00Growing from Pain<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<a href="http://helpingotherpatientseverywhere.blogspot.com/p/crecer-partir-del-dolor.html" target="_blank"><span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="es"><span class="hps">(traduccion</span> <span class="hps">español)</span></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br />When I was young, I used to
complain about aching and pain in my joints. I was told that these were
"growing pains" - and that everybody goes through this, and that
growing pains means I am getting taller. </span></div>
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But "growing
pains" are not just limited to adolescence…we experience growing pains
throughout life. My biggest growing pain is my illness with central nervous
system vasculitis. It has been during my journey with this illness that I have
experienced the most growth and learned the most about life. </div>
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<b>Henri Nouwen said,
"We fail to see the place of suffering in the broader scheme of things.
We fail to see that suffering is an inevitable dimension of life. Because we
have lost perspective, we fail to see that unless one is willing to accept
suffering properly, he or she is really refusing to continue in the quest for
maturity. To refuse suffering is to refuse personal growth." </b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">How then can we
accept suffering properly?</span></div>
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The first thing we
need to remember is to be patient. I know that patience is not one of my
strongest qualities. We live in a world with instant gratification so
sometimes we expect God to instantly answer our prayers. But God's ways are
higher than ours, and He has specific purposes behind His answers to our
prayers that we might not understand in this lifetime. </div>
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So while we're in
pain and suffering, we hold on to our hope that this too shall pass. And we
are patient in waiting during God's silence at these times of our lives. And
while we wait on God's answer, we are constant in prayer. <b>(Romans 12:12: "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.")</b></div>
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<b>1 Peter 5:10:
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who
has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm,
strengthen, and establish you."</b> After God has confirmed, strengthened,
and established you - you can then learn from your suffering and see how you
have grown from it.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">How have I grown
from my pain?</span></div>
<li style="list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By having to
change life plans because of my illness, I have learned to lean not on my
own understanding but trust in God's plans for me. I have learned not to
depend on myself but to depend on God most, because He is always in
control. (Proverbs 3:5)</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By gaining lots
of weight on prednisone and losing hair due to chemotherapy, I have
remembered that true beauty comes from within. That the heart is more
important than the outward appearance and the heart's beauty never
perishes, no matter what medication I may be on. (1 Samuel 16:7)</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By wondering if a
cure will ever be found for my illness, I have learned to live with a
steadfast hope. By the helpful hands of people in my life who have given
hope to me, I have learned to give hope to others. (Isaiah 40:31)</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By breaking down
in tears on a bad day with my illness, I remember that just because I am a
Christian, I am not entitled to have every single one of my prayers
answered, that God's grace is always sufficient for me, and His power can
be made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)</span></li>
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When you experience
pain, think of them as growing pains too....because through suffering, we
build our resilience, our endurance, and our strength. </div>
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<b>2 Timothy 1:7,
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and
of a sound mind."</b></div>
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</ol>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01880153896766537826noreply@blogger.com1