A Bridge Over Troubled Water

Henri Nouwen said that "authentic messengers" are "those who are able to put the full range of their life-experiences - their experiences in prayer, in conversation, and in their lonely hours - at the disposal of those who ask them… (It) means offering your own life-experience to your fellow travelers, and as Paul Simon sings, to lay yourself down like a bridge over troubled water" (Nouwen, Creative Ministry).

Henri Nouwen is one of my favourite authors - I discovered him when we read his book The Wounded Healer for my human services class. Through his book, we learned to be helpers who take our wounds and allow them to be a source of healing for those who are wounded:  "Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not "How can we hide our wounds?" so we don't have to be embarrassed, but "How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?" When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers. Jesus is God's wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus' suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others" (Nouwen, The Wounded Healer).

Troubled waters present uncertainty, doubt, fear, anxiety and the unknown. Sometimes when a friend needs us, we can be a bridge for them because we also have wounds and therefore can sympathize and understand what they are going through. We can be a bridge from a heavy heart to a lighthearted smile, from doubt to hope, from anxiety to peace.

When people who are afraid of heights are walking over a bridge across troubled water, they are afraid to look down. If they look down they see water beneath them and the thought of falling off crosses their mind and distracts them from their goal of reaching the other side. When you are with a friend who needs help, he or she may dwell on the problems that cannot be solved and fear might prevent that person from moving forward. As wounded healers, we understand and remember when we were once anxious and afraid of the unknown, and feared crossing the bridge over troubled water to the other side. Sometimes the best kind of friend you can be is to share in the wounds of others, and stay with them during their hour of grief or loneliness. Sometimes the best gift to give is not advice, solution, or a cure, but a hand to hold while crossing the bridge.