Getting Back Up Again

Ever wonder what toddlers think in their head while they are learning to walk? Toddlers usually learn to walk by the time they are 1 year old, but at that time they are not yet speaking full coherent sentences.

Toddlers usually learn to stand on their own first, then take a few small steps - all to the wonder and amazement of the parents - and then fall down. The toddler then returns to crawling again for a while before beginning to walk again.

But after each attempt at walking and at each fall, the parent is still very much encouraging - even coaxing the toddler to stand up and try again.

When the toddler finally is able to maintain balance and start walking independently, it's a joyous moment for the parents since this is a significant developmental accomplishment. After a while and much encouragement, the toddler is finally able to walk on his or her own, even if doing so unsteadily.

When I was 17, I was relearning to walk again. After being diagnosed with central nervous system vasculitis, I had ataxia as a symptom. Ataxia is a neurological sign or symptom that means the lack of coordination or muscle movements. I remember the physical therapist coming to visit me regularly when I was still laying in the hospital bed. The first step was to be able to sit up on my own. I remember the first time I sat up in bed and feeling dizzy and unsteady, after I was laying down for so long. 

The physical therapist came back every single day, to help me try again. He pushed me to do more everyday - more than I thought I could handle. He trusted in my progress more than I trusted in myself, and helped me gain confidence in my abilities. When I was finally able to stand on my own, it was a great feeling. I didn't realize how much I valued the use of my legs until I finally managed to put one foot in front of the other, and walked my first couple of steps.

In life, we also have many attempts and many falls. Sometimes we try things out and they don't work. Sometimes something happens that deters us from the goal we originally desired. Sometimes falling is not our fault, and life gives us something that we trip over along the journey.

TobyMac, in his song, "Get back up," sings:

We lose our way,

We get back up again

Never too late to get back up again,

One day, you gonna shine again,

You may be knocked down but not out forever,

I've had my own falls recently. Last spring in 2011, life was looking like a beautiful adventure. I had just gotten married and my husband and I were leaving for our honeymoon in Europe. Afterward, we were going to move to the other side of the country where I was accepted at the graduate program for social work at the University of Toronto.

But at the end of our honeymoon, I got sick when my illness flared up again. This changed our decision about moving across the country…we thought it wasn't a good idea for me to start a graduate program right after my illness had resurfaced after 6 years. My husband and I then moved near Seattle because of his job, and I was excited to begin a career in the city. But then my illness flared up again - with worse symptoms - and it looked like I would not be living the life I had imagined.

Currently, I am just staying at home. There were  times when I have felt like I was being useless and doing nothing that is meaningful to the world. I may have been close to dying but I didn't think I was close to leaving behind any legacy. This is probably because I know my abilities and I have had the educational training to do much more than just cooking and cleaning in the house.

Charles Swindoll said, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." It took me some time to accept this, but living with an invisible illness will have lots of stumbling blocks and falls. And like a toddler, I will have to get up after each fall and try walking those few steps again.

When we fall in life, we also have a wonderful Parent who is coaxing us and encouraging us to get back up on our feet. God is the Father who is there every time we fall, and offers His hand to help us get back up on our feet and try again. He is much better than a physical therapist, because He knows the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). And after each time we fall, we only need to hold his hand so we can stay in His plan.

I am not just speaking literally about getting back up on our feet. Look at Christopher Reevs - the man who played Superman in the original movies. After an equestrian accident, he became a quadriplegic. But he was able to "get back up again" with his spirit of hope through his struggles, and continued to be an inspiration for many. You don't need to be 100% physically capable in order to let a little light shine in this world. A heart of hope in the midst of trials can bring encouragement…and if you encourage even just one person…that is enough, because even a whole room can be lit up as one candle passes its flame to another.