What will you leave behind?

 

I heard this song on the radio when I was young, and was very intrigued with the story and the lyrics. It tells a story of four people on a bus - a farmer, a teacher, a preacher and a hooker. The bus got into an accident, and only one person survived. The song then goes to say what each person left behind on earth before he or she died. The farmer left behind a great farm for his son. The teacher left behind wisdom given to the students. And the preacher left his Bible and gave it to the hooker. The hooker read the Bible to her son, and the son became a preacher and shared this song.

I don't know if this song is based on a true story, but it does have a powerful point - that we don't know when God decides that it is time for us to meet Him. But when that time comes, the song says: "It's not what you take, when you leave this world behind you. It's what you leave behind you when you go."

My parent's told me that when I was in the ICU, I almost died 3 times when I stopped breathing, one time I was losing too much blood, and the other time my blood pressure had dropped way low. If I had died at 17, I don't know how much of a legacy I would have left behind. People at high school would have said, "She was a sweet girl. Very smart. Had good leadership skills. She loved theatre." People from church would have said, "She was great with kids. She volunteered a lot."

But while I was in the ICU, while the doctors were frantically trying to diagnose me, maybe God thought, "No - I have more plans for you, Chelsey - you are not going yet."

And I am so glad I didn't die.  I think I have done much more in the 6 years following my illness, then I did in the first 17 years of my life when I was perfectly healthy. After my diagnosis, I went to the Dominican Republic and helped families in need, and played and sang with orphaned children. I volunteered my time with at-risk youth. I played music for the elderly at the nursing home. I helped give food and clothes to the homeless.

I got sick again in September 2011. I was having constant subclinical seizures, and the doctors told my husband that I may have permanent brain damage if they are not able to stop the seizures soon. But again, God said, "No - I have more plans for you."

When I was recovering, I did not yet understand why I had gotten sick again. I was on my way to going to graduate school for medical social work - but getting sick again put me on a detour from my plan. But God's detours are always better than the plans we make for ourselves. Jesus said in John13:7, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

After my last flare-up, I started this blog, and an online support group on Facebook for people who live with an illness. And I have been able to reach out to many people around the world, thanks to the Internet.

It may be hard to think about, but we all know that we don't know when our last moment on earth will be. That is why every moment in the present is important. This is why my husband and I never let the sun go down on our anger. Every time we say goodbye, we do it with a kiss and an "I love you" - even if we are just saying goodbye on the phone.

Maybe you think that you are not leaving behind much of a legacy…that you haven't done anything significant in your life. But remember that even a small rock dropped in a pond causes a ripple effect, and the ripple goes on and on and we cannot see how far it goes. That is like how it is with small acts of kindness. Maybe you are like the teacher in this song, and you shared some bits of wisdom with others - who took it with them and helped them make important choices in their lives. Maybe you are like the farmer and you worked hard preparing something for a future generation. Maybe you are like the preacher, and his gift of a Bible helped a lost soul find faith. In this song, the preacher died in the accident - and never got to see what happened when he gave his Bible away to the hooker. But as you see in the song, this one small action caused a ripple effect that led to the woman giving birth to a son, and she read to him from this Bible, and the son became a preacher who shared the Good News.

So don't underestimate the significance of the small acts of kindness you do. Shannon L. Alder said, “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” 

Although I may not see how far the ripple effect will go, I will continue to live life giving hope to others. So if I unexpectedly get sick again, and God says that this time I will meet Him, I would have been proud of the life I left behind. Because like Emily Dickinson said, "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."