Christmas Song #7: "The Virgin's Lullaby" Moving Forward and Finding Joy in Waiting

How much of our lives do we spend waiting? Every day we are waiting…waiting at the red  light, waiting for the food to heat up in the microwave, waiting for the water to boil, waiting for someone to return a phone call…there is so much time of our life that we spend waiting.

But what do you do while you are waiting? When you're at the stop light, do you pause and freeze, and stop driving? No, you are probably mentally planning your driving route in your head, and preparing to make a turn, or to go straight at the green light. Some people take those couple of seconds to turn on the radio, or to pull out a map to check their directions. For my husband and myself, we usually like to take that time to give each other a sign of affection, such as a kiss on the cheek.

In life, there are many red lights. For most of my readers, this red light is an illness. A red light that reminds you of things that you cannot do, and tells you, "No, you cannot move forward at this time." For those without an illness, there are many other problems in life that come as a red light. Perhaps you lost your job and have trouble looking for work. Perhaps there is trouble in the family or you just got out of a bad relationship. Or maybe, you are giving yourself your own red light, because you are having trouble with your confidence, your self - image, and you've lost  self-esteem.

It's because of the red lights in our lives that we wait. For those with an illness, we wait to go into remission. For those without a job, you are waiting for someone to see what you are worth and tell you that you are hired. For those who have trouble in the family or just got out of a bad relationship, you are waiting for reconciliation or healing. For those who have trouble seeing themselves as a person worthy of love, you are waiting for someone to reach out to you and show you that you are worth loving. For anyone else with other obstacles, there is always "waiting" involved, until you overcome that obstacle and move forward.

In life, how often have we been at red lights…but stayed there, not planning, not preparing, and not showing affection. Some people encounter obstacles and freeze up. They get lost and don't stop to take out a map for direction. They wait for so long at the red light that traffic builds up around them, until they realize that they simply had to make the red light in their lives turn green so that they can move forward.

At the first Christmas, when Jesus Christ was born, He was the answer to thousands of years of waiting.  God had promised His people that He will send them a Saviour, to save them from their turmoil and cast out their sins. God's people waited for years and years. Some gave up, but some had hope in His promise. And it was those who had hope in God's promise who were able to recognize His Son, for who He truly was.

In the song, "The Virgin's Lullaby," we hear about the Three Wise Men, who have searched for years for the star that would lead them to Christ, the Ultimate King. Like God's people, the people of Israel, the Wise Men also waited for years and years searching for the Messiah. But in their wait, they were preparing themselves so that they may bring honour to Jesus when they met him.

In this same song, we also hear about Mary, who is part of God's people and has been waiting for a Saviour. She was just a very young girl when she was told by an angel that her entire life was about to change. But while waiting to give birth to the Son of God, she rejoiced, and found joy in her period of waiting.

In life, how often do we take the time to find joy during our periods of waiting? If you have an illness, and you are waiting for a diagnosis, for remission, or to be healed - you can still find joy in the waiting. Joy might be more difficult to find when you are in a hospital, or when you can't get out of bed in the morning because of chronic pain, but joy is still there. You just need to find it, and there are so many places where it can be found. It can be found in the loving arms of family. It can be found in the comforting words of friends. It can be found in a hobby that you love to do. Or if you are a Christian, joy can always be found in God's Word and in His comfort, no matter what is happening in your life. Don't see your illness as a red light.

In life, you can control your own traffic light, and make that red light turn green. Life shouldn't stop because of a red light, make that right or left turn on the road and make changes in your life, or best of all, make that red light turn green, and move forward in your life.

My last flare up with my illness happened last September, when I developed status epilepticus, a symptom of children's primary angiitis of the central nervous system (if you do not know this illness, please see my first blog for an explanation). I don't remember those five days in the hospital when I was having constant seizures, and my husband didn't know whether I was going to die. Or if I lived, will I be the same person that I was? After my seizures, the vasculitis attacked my visual cortex in my brain, and I had another couple of days with vivid hallucinations, where I couldn't distinguish reality from my dreams. I couldn't even recognize my husband at times and said some hurtful things to him. It is now almost three months since my flare up, and I have been waiting to go back to remission, and officially be off chemotherapy and the other medications that I am taking.

Just because you are "waiting" doesn't mean you can't move forward in your life. It also doesn't mean that you can't plan, make changes, or hope for a better future. During these last three months, I've been planning on where to apply to when I can go back to work. I've made changes in my life - such as writing this blog to encourage other people, and creating a Facebook group where other people with a life-changing illness like me, can share their perspective about life.  Although I was at a red light for a while with my illness when I was hospitalized for nearly three weeks, I chose to make that red light turn green and I moved forward, while waiting to return to remission, and finding joy in the loving arms of my husband, the comfort of my friends, and finding again - my joy for writing.

I have to say, I don't know if I would have found that joy in writing if I hadn't had the encouragement from a good friend, Ginny, who also has the same illness as me. She gave me the confidence in my writing that I had lost long ago. My husband had encouraged me before to start writing fiction again, since before I had been writing a novel. But before this last flare-up, I never felt that I had anything to share with other people.

No matter what your burden is - an illness, financial troubles, trouble in relationships, trouble with your self-concept, or anything else that is preventing you from living the life that you want - know that while you are waiting for your burden to be lifted, you can still find joy.

Joy can be found in any circumstance in life. If you are sick, think of the positive things that have happened since and because of your illness. Perhaps you made a new friend or found a new hobby to help you get through your illness that has brought you joy. If you have financial troubles, there is still joy to be found in other areas of life, because money does not make the world go round - no matter what others may think. The love of others is more precious than your bank statement will ever be.

For those who are Christians, we know that God's timing is perfect, and that there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives, and that God's will is always higher than ours. God also uses our waiting to make us stronger. I know that I wouldn't be the person today if I didn't spend years waiting on God to deliver me from family trouble, or if I hadn't spend months for God to bring me to remission after my first flare-up. In times of waiting, let us be like the Three Wisemen, and continue to search - but this time, searching for the heart of God, and casting our burden on Him so that we can draw nearer to Him.

Maybe you are waiting for God to lead you to your future husband and wife - instead of waiting at that red light, be proactive and turn that light green, and move forward while preparing yourself to be the kind of person a husband or wife would want to have, all the while, finding joy in singlehood that God provides such as living independently and achieving goals that you may not have time to do right away after getting married.

This Christmas…whatever obstacles you may be facing, may you find joy in the process of waiting to overcome it. Turn your red light green, make that turn on the road of your life to make necessary changes, or go straight and move forward - finding joy in your hope of what the future can bring.

Merry Christmas Everyone! :)

If you'd like to know more about the Christmas story, you can watch the movie, The Nativity, or check out this video, "The Virgin's Lullaby."

Or better yet, look in the Bible...you'll find the story at the beginning of the Book of Matthew and the Book of Luke.